RJN “My Custody Loss” Chapter 5

RJN-MCL-Adina_FRONT-COVER

During the week before the final appointment with the psychiatrist, the one me and Kevin had to attend, I really had to Seek God to keep me at peace. This was the appointment that would determine whether the kids would stay with me or go to stay with Kevin, but I knew Who already made the final decision. So I really had to depend on my Heavenly Husband to surrender my will for His and to help me through whatever was going to transpire from this appointment.

The day finally arrived and as I drove there, it was a 20min drive, I just spoke to my Heavenly Husband to help me, keep me in peace and to zip my lips no matter what was going to be said. I was very nervous and I needed Him to get me through it because I was not able to do it in my own strength.

When I got there Kevin was already there, and we had to wait for the psychiatrist. We greeted politely but there was nothing else to say, so there was an uncomfortable silence between us, but it was okay, I spoke to my Husband. She finally arrived and we went in….

I have to share that this was probably the second most uncomfortable situation I was in, the first being the appointment with Kevin’s lawyer. Why I say this is because of what the psychiatrist told Kevin while I was sitting there.

She told us the kids want to stay with both of us, then she turned to Kevin and she started telling him stuff like divorce is never the answer and the children wants us together. Then she told him about her dad that left her mom for another women and the repercussions. Kevin didn’t say a word while she spoke to him. It made me uncomfortable because I knew where his heart was and it was not with me, so nothing she said would make a difference, only He can work in the situation if it is His will to restore and only He can turn hearts.

Then she started to talk to us about the best plan going forward. Kevin wanted the kids to go and stay with him immediately and change schools, but at that stage it was the middle of the year and she told him that would not be in the best interest of the children, because it is not just changing schools, it is changing from an Afrikaans first language school to an English first language school. And then she suggested a week-week custody plan, but we were not staying in the same town, so she asked me if I would be prepared to move and I said yes if that is what is best for the children. But for the rest of it I just remained quiet and the conversation was more between Kevin and the psychiatrist, I felt like I was watching a movie.

Kevin said he would let the children stay with me to finish the school year, but he can’t afford to pay grocery money, he also agreed that a week-week custody plan would be the best for the children. But he was scared that I would not be able to buy food for the children during the time they stay with me until the end of that year, but I assured him that we will be provided for and the children will not go hungry. I didn’t know how, but I knew my Heavenly Husband would provide. Kevin agreed and that was the end of the appointment and we left. Nothing was really settled but there was a plan.

A few days later Kevin visited me and we had a discussion, he said as long as I can provide, the children must stay with me to finish the school year. He also said that he would continue to pay my rent and utilities even when the kids stay with him, until I can maybe one day afford to pay it myself. He also asked me if I want to move so we can follow a week-week custody plan, and I told him that I will pray about it, and if it is His will, He will make it possible for me to move and provide everything and that I am okay with everything he decided. Things between us at that stage was peaceful, there was no fighting, all because of the principles I applied. I agreed to everything he said and that was the end of the “custody battle”. As far as I know, what was decided that day, was only send to Kevin’s lawyer in a email, but it didn’t go to the court to make it official and the original divorce settlement is still in effect.

I just want to add that during the appointment with the psychiatrist, Kevin said nothing bad about me or to me. He just kept saying that I am a very good mother and that this has nothing to do with me being a bad mother. I kept quiet, and only answered questions directed at me briefly with minimal words.

So this was the start of the last couple of months until the children left to go and stay with their dad. This was a journey I had to go on which He gracefully provided so I can completely surrender and find rest in Him. But more about this journey in the next chapter.

HomeGrown

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7 thoughts on “RJN “My Custody Loss” Chapter 5”

  1. Oh Adina my dearest. I am so glad for every principle you learned that helped you thru this very difficult time. Surely He kept you in perfect peace even tho I am sure your heart must have been breaking. Everything you went thru was so that you could share this journey with other women 🙏 Your story is still being written and l know that it is not finished He is busy working and l can’t wait to hear the rest and the praise thatsalso coming in His time! 🤗

    1. Thank you Atarah, like I shared in the podcast, we might only see what looks like “chaos”, but HH is using the “chaos” to create a beautiful artwork that will be revealed at the appointed time.

  2. My dear, what a powerful testimony of the peace the Lord give us when we surrender!! It shouldn´t have been easy, but I am happy that you decided to obey, which is one of the hardest thing to do!!
    Even when our hearts are breaking, He got us!! 😍🥰

  3. Adina, thank you for sharing a new chapter with us. I cannot even begin to imagine how difficult it must have been for you to keep quiet, but of course He keeps in perfect peace those who trust in Him right? I cannot tell you how much I enjoy each chapter every week.

  4. Dear Adina, thank you for sharing this with us. I can imagine what you went through. Before the divorce was filed, I also had to do this with and for my children. In my case, my ex-husband did tell some things that were against me, but still my HR made sure and showed me that no weapon forged against you will do anything. The lady advised me that I was entitled to 50% custody and HE has always provided that I can take care of them. So i can see and hear that you are doing also.
    You are a true bride of our HH. https://www.bible.com/nl/bible/68/2CH.16.9.GNT
    What you have gone through has made you the beautiful, patient and loving encouraging woman I have come to know over the past few weeks. And I am so thankful to the Lord for that. I love you my dear.

  5. Oh dear Adina, thank you so much for sharing. I can’t imagine what you went through, but I was so touched and encouraged to see that our Beloved kept you in peace, and with the certainty that practicing the principles you learned was best, and the result couldn’t have been better than this one, that you continue to have His peace and the certainty that He will finish the work He started in your life.

  6. Dear Adina, when I started to read your RJN, my Husband led me to use the google translate built in of the site and share it on the French Blog. We have not received many comments on the post but because His works are beyond what we expect, there is one lady who is encouraged by your journey and I wanted to share with you the link in case you would like to read or encourage her even more.
    https://aidemaritale.com/rjn-ma-perte-de-garde-chapitre-5/#comment-411

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