Chapter 7 Immorality

The opening verse may seem inappropriate for a book for young men, but now is the time to make decisions to secure a happy, prosperous future. Throughout history, even Biblical history, immorality has played a significant role in the downfall of great men. It is why we need to address and discuss this since it will always play a pivotal role in your life, and using your strength as a Wise Warrior will not be won without understanding the enemy, his schemes, and carefully putting into play all you've learned from the prior chapters.

There's no need to state the obvious about how so many men, including Christian men, fall into the sin of immorality. Sadly, the enemy snatches his victims younger and younger, mere children, so that by the time they (you and potentially your future life-partner too) reach adulthood, the odds of securing the kind of life God designed, and what your Savior died for, are impossible. 

Thankfully, His promise to us is, "With people it is impossible, but not WITH GOD; for all things are possible with God" (Mark 10:27). To understand how to navigate the rapids, and overcome the wicked one, He had me wisely include in this book, The River of Life, a powerful allegory that I told to my sons and daughters.

Knowing and understanding Biblical history must become a passion as a Wise Man Warrior. To win in sports, for example, don't coaches and players watch footage of prior games, while they carefully study their rivals, noting how they moved or played? Since the Bible documents the sin of immorality, which has been plaguing men throughout history, as before, we will look to Scripture for God's answers. What can we learn from those who fell and those who remained steadfast? We will begin with learning and studying those who conquered immorality, the winners. Then, we will look at the losers, men who failed—along with studying God's mercy and how He kept one of His key promises: “And we know that God causes all things to work together for GOOD to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose" (Romans 8:28)

First, Biblical Examples of Moral Purity

Daniel was innocent. God said he was free from guilt or sin, and it's why "God delivered him" when he faced the lion's den. “My God sent His angel and shut the lions’ mouths, and they have not harmed me, since I was found innocent before Him, and also toward you, O king, I have committed no crime” (Daniel 6:22). Immorality might not be a criminal act, but in God's eyes is wrong and weakens the power of man as we will read when we get to Samson.

Job was blameless—free from fault. Job is another example of a blameless man who pleased God. “And the Lord said to Satan, ‘Have you considered My servant Job? For there is no one like him on the earth, a blameless and upright man, fearing God and turning away from evil’” (Job 1:8). What was the secret to Job’s blameless life? “He will bless those who fear the Lord, the small together with the great” (Psalm 115:13). “Blessed are those whose way is blameless” (Psalm 119:1). 

Job turned from evil, but the greatest example of this was Joseph, whom we will also discuss. “And let him turn away from evil and do good” (1 Peter 3:11). It's not enough to try to stop yourself; you must replace it with doing good.

Job’s secret. How was Job able to stay morally pure even after all he had lost, which was everything? Job said, “I have made a covenant with my eyes; how then could I gaze at a virgin? ...If my step has turned from the way, or my heart followed my eyes . . .” (Job 31:17). In this statement, Job is acknowledging the potential for sin, and actively choosing to avoid it by redirecting his gaze.

Why? “To keep you from the evil woman, from the smooth tongue of the promiscuous woman. Do not desire her beauty in your heart, nor let her seduce you with her eyes” (Proverbs 6:24-25). "For all that is in the world—the desires of the flesh, the desires of the eyes, and the pride of life—is not from the Father but from the world" (1 John 2:16).

"I have made a covenant with my eyes" is a direct quote from Job 31:1 in the Bible. It refers to a deliberate decision to control one's gaze and not look at something with lustful or inappropriate desire. In this context, a "covenant" signifies a binding agreement or vow, and Job is affirming his commitment to this self-discipline. Daily exercising self-control and disciplining one's desires, while also recognizing that the eyes are a gateway to other thoughts and actions, is the way of preventing sin and being bound by cords that bind even the strongest of men. 

Question: How can I guard myself against falling into adultery when I marry?

What can I do to avoid the pit of adultery? First, acknowledge that you are helpless without God's help, and also that prevention, conquering it before you marry. “Therefore let him who thinks he stands be careful, you just may fall” (1 Corinthians 10:12). Remember, “For by grace you have been saved through faith; and that not of yourselves, it is the gift of God; not as a result of works, that no one should boast” (Ephesians 2:8-9). 

Once again, to understand how important it is to save yourself for your life partner, the "wife of your youth," and "overcome the wicked one," He had me wisely include in this book the "Wedding Clothes" for Him book, a second powerful allegory that I told my sons and daughters.

A man of excellence, Paul. “And this I [Paul] pray, that your love may abound still more and more in real knowledge and in all discernment, so that you may approve the things that are excellent, in order to be sincere and blameless until the day He comes” (Philippians 1:9-10).

Joseph’s discretion. The definition of discretion is "action based upon caution." One of the men in Scripture who did not fall was Joseph. Let’s take a closer look at the impossible situation Joseph was put in with the boss’s wife to learn discretion, “action based upon caution.”

Discerning and wise. Because of Joseph’s life of trials and tribulations as he was growing up, he developed discernment as well as wisdom, which later led to his incredible promotion. “So Pharaoh said to Joseph, ‘Since God has informed you of all this, there is no one so discerning and wise as you are’” (Genesis 41:39).

So what happened with Joseph? “And it came about that his master’s wife looked with desire at Joseph, and she said, 'Come to bed with me!” But he refused and said to his master’s wife, "No one is greater in this house than I am. My master has withheld nothing from me except you, because you are his wife. How then could I do such a wicked thing and sin against God?” (Genesis 39:7).

Joseph stated that sin is always against God. David remembered this after his sin of adultery. “Against You, You only, have I sinned and done what is evil in Your sight, so that You are justified in Your words and blameless in Your judgment” (Psalm 51:4).

Joseph's story goes on to say, “Now it happened one day that he went into the house to do his work, and none of the men of the household was there inside” (Genesis 39:11). You may or may not know the name Billy Graham, but he was once the most powerful preacher in the world. During his 55 years of ministry, Billy Graham preached the Good News to nearly 215 million people in over 185 countries around the world. One thing he stated boldly is that he and the men with whom he surrounded himself agreed never to be alone with a woman (other than their own wives), even though it was often quite difficult. He was never alone in a car, in an office, or a restaurant.

One time, a woman was assigned to pick him up from the airport for a speaking engagement, but he refused to get in the car. He called the church to see if other arrangements could be made and eventually took a cab. Billy Graham studied the destruction of men in the Bible due to immorality, and also how many preachers were immoral. By making this bold and difficult commitment to God, his ministry, and his wife, God blessed him like no one has seen. Now, let's get back to Joseph and what he faced...

“One day, however, no one else was around when Joseph went in to do his work. That's when she came and grabbed him by his cloak, demanding, “Come on, sleep with me!” Joseph tore himself away, but he left his cloak in her hand as he ran from the house.

And she caught him by his clothing, saying, ‘Lie with me!’ And he left his clothing in her hand and fled, and went outside” (Genesis 39:12). There's no question this was the correct response, which we read later in God's Word, God says, “Flee immorality. Every other sin that a man commits is outside the body, but the immoral man sins against his own body” (1 Corinthians 6:18).

Be vigilant, remain sober, and don’t wait until you must run out "naked," literally or figuratively! When you sense a situation that could potentially become a problem, flee!!! This is no time to stand firm. Speak to your Father and ask Him for wisdom. So often we go to the "proper" authority only for them to let us down. Trust no one but God.

What happened next? “When she saw that he had left his garment in her hand and had fled outside, she called to the men of her servants. Soon, all the men came running. 'Look!' she said. 'My husband has brought this Hebrew slave here to make fools of us! He came into my room to rape me, but I screamed.'" This is happening today, which is why the wisdom of never being alone with a woman can save you, too, in many ways.

"When he heard me scream for help, he left his clothing beside me and ran out of the house. And it came about when he heard that I raised my voice and screamed, that he left his garment beside me and fled, and went outside. So Potiphar’s wife kept Joseph’s clothing beside her until his master came home” (Genesis 39:17).

Keep this in mind: If you are ever with or entangle yourself with a woman, someday, somehow, she will tell (or show) others everything. This has become an epidemic on the internet when, in the blink of an eye, what you believed was in secret is displayed for everyone you know to see. It's led to men taking their own lives due to the shame.

Discretion (defined as prudence, discerning caution) is certainly what every young person must cling to. God tells us that if we lack discretion, we can develop and cultivate it by reading the book of Proverbs. God says, “These Proverbs will give insight to the simple, knowledge, discernment, and discretion to the young" (Proverbs 1:4). Make it a habit to read the Proverbs every day. Read and/or listen to one chapter for each day of the month (for example, on the 12th day of the month, read and/or listen to the 12th chapter of Proverbs.) We provide Psalms and Proverbs on our men's website, knowing how important it is for spiritual strength.

“Discretion will guard you, experience will watch over you, to deliver you from the way of evil...” (Proverbs 2:11-12).

Discretion is also the lifeline to your soul. “My son, don’t ever let wisdom out of your sight. Hold on to wisdom and careful planning. They will bring you a long life filled with honor. My son, don’t ever let wisdom and discretion out of your sight. Hold on to it and carefully plan your future. They will bring you a long life filled with honor. As you go through life, you will always be safe and never fall. When you rest at night, you will not be afraid. When you rest, your sleep will be peaceful." (Proverbs 3:21-24).

Next, Biblical Examples of Immorality

Several men in the Bible are portrayed as engaging in immorality. Some prominent examples include David, who committed adultery with Bathsheba and arranged for her husband's death (2 Samuel 11). There's also King Solomon, who, despite his wisdom and who wrote most of Proverbs, had numerous wives and concubines, leading him away from God (1 Kings 11). Additionally, the story of Judah and Tamar (Genesis 38) highlights sexual transgression within family relationships. Yet, since this book is designed for Wise Men Warriors, we will begin with a man most well-known for his physical strength.

Samson's Weakness. Samson, chosen by God for a special task, struggled with moral failings, notably his relationship with Delilah. His repeated compromises and susceptibility to temptation led to his downfall. However, once humbled and desperate to use his failings for good, Samson essentially fell on his sword and destroyed his enemies—the very ones who were mocking him and God. "Samson said, 'Let me die with the Philistines!' [Standing between the columns supporting the amphitheater.] He pushed hard, and the temple collapsed on the rulers and all the people in it. He killed many more people in his death than he had killed during his life" (Judges 16:1-30). God used all his immoral failings for good because "he loved God" and answered the call "according to God's purpose for his life."

David's Great Sin. David's immorality with Bathsheba resulted in his becoming a murderer. (2 Samuel 11:1) David's unfaithfulness to God with Bathsheba, the wife of Uriah, and his subsequent plot to have Uriah killed are stark examples of sexual immorality and abuse of power. And again, God had mercy on his immorality, "he loved God," and later lived "according to God's purpose for his life" so that our Savior came through the lineage of David. Both Matthew and Luke include genealogies tracing our Savior's lineage back to David, and it fulfills prophecies about the Messiah being a descendant of David.

Solomon's Foolishness. While famous for his wisdom, King Solomon gathered countless foreign wives, who led him to worship false gods, turning his heart away from the Lord. Even Solomon, himself, in his latter years, saw his own vanity and that a waste of his life was spent on foolish earthly and fleshly diversions. The phrase "all is vanity" comes from the Book of Ecclesiastes in the Hebrew Bible, written by King Solomon. It expresses the vanity of earthly pursuits and achievements, in the end, utterly meaningless and fleeting. The word "vanity" (Hebrew: hevel) can also be translated as "futility," "emptiness," or "vapor," emphasizing the insubstantial and transient nature of worldly things.

Question: If I have already fallen into immorality, is there hope for me?

What did the Lord say? You just read the account of 3 men in Biblical history who God used to show you what He can do when we fail Him. Remember, too, what the Lord said to the woman caught in the very act of adultery? “Did no one condemn you?... Neither do I condemn you; go your way. From now on, sin no more” (John 8:10-11). Sin, any sin, when it is confessed and truly repented for, will be forgiven by God. Our Savior paid the price for all our sins, just don't forget what He also said, “From now on, sin no more.” “In the past, some of you were like that. But you were washed clean, you were made holy [set apart], and you were made right with God in the name of the Lord and by the Spirit of our God.” (1 Corinthians 6:11).

Most important is the power of repentance. Repentance means turning away from evil and doing good. Many men try to get away from their immoral situation, but the sinful cords of lust and selfishness hold them. “Have no part in the things that people do in darkness, which produce nothing good. Instead, tell everyone how wrong those things are and refuse to participate. Actually, it is shameful to even talk about the things those people do in secret. But the light makes clear how wrong those things are” (Ephesians 5:11-13).

To be set free from your sin of immorality, you must expose it to the light—the light of Scripture and the light of Truth. Your loyalty must be to the Lord. Whoever is part of your immorality, you must break all contact with them—forever! Even being rude and unkind, it's how you need to stand firm against the one whose scheme it is, and nothing personal to one individual other than yourself. Don’t ever meet or talk again to try to explain. Just flee. Walk away from any conversations and hang up when you hear that person's voice. If you don’t repent and turn to flee, you will fall again, and again, and again. Stand up and be a Wise Man Warrior of God now, or you'll risk paying the price for the rest of your life.

God will use you as an example as you find the right way out. This is how God feels about his sons who repent. When the older son said to his father in the story of the prodigal son, “...But when this son of yours came, who devoured your wealth with immoral women, you killed the fattened calf for him” (Luke 15:30). Here was the father's response, “But we had to be merry and rejoice, for this brother of yours was dead and has begun to live, and was lost and has been found” (Luke 15:32). There is true forgiveness just waiting for you if you have been immoral, certainly from God and eventually from everyone who you feel led to share your story. 

Can I ever trust myself again? No. God said to trust Him and Him alone. “Cursed is the man who trusts mankind and makes flesh his strength... Blessed is the man who trusts in the Lord and whose trust is the Lord” (Jeremiah 17:5-7).

What else should I do? “Keep watch and pray, so that you will not give in to temptation. For the spirit is willing, but the body is weak" (Mark 14:38).  “And looking upon them the Lord said, ‘With men this is impossible, but with God all things are possible’” (Matthew 19:26).

Now it's time to make a personal commitment to God.