Chapter 2 “L.O.V.E.”

“L” is for the way you look at me.

“O” is for the only one I see.

“V” is for the very, very extra ordinary

“E” is even more than any one that you adore.

And love is all that I can give to you,

Love is more than just a game for two.

Two in love can make it—take my heart and please don’t break it.

Love was made for me and you, love was made for me and you, love was made for me and you! 

Oh, I agree, you’re right, this is not the typical opening paragraph to a chapter, but how appropriate since there is nothing typical about the concept nor the power of love. Writers write about it, singers sing about it, and every single one, young and old, is searching for it—love.

The Bible talks about love directly and indirectly from the very beginning of the Bible, from Genesis all the way through to Revelation. There are actually 484 references to love in Scripture and that’s because there is no greater power in the universe than love and no greater love than this “While we were yet sinners Christ died for us.”

A child that does not experience love as a child will always be at a disadvantage. So many parents claim to love their children, yet the child still feels they are not loved. So how do we give our children the love that they can feel; love that will change their lives, and send them out to adulthood ready to face all the ills of this world?

We cannot give what we do not have and the only love worth giving, the only love worth having, is that unpolluted love that originates from God. Oh, we claim we love, but our love is a selfish, polluted love. In our nature as humans, the love we possess is the love that expects something in return, and therefore, it is a love that gives in order to get. Compare this love to the love that God gave in His gift of His only Son. His Son was a love that gave without merit, and given to us “while we are yet sinners.” A love that was given to us when we had nothing at all we could possibly give Him in return.

For more than 20 years as a mother, I gave a really powerful love to my children. The love that stemmed from what I received from my own parents who clearly loved me and gave their love to me unselfishly. Many of you were not so blessed. But even with the love of my parents, then their love fell short of the power of the true love of God. 

Though I believe and was praised for being an awesome mom, it wasn’t until I experienced the true, deep, powerful love from my Beloved, experiencing Him in a deeper way as His bride, when His love changed me and I became a different parent than I was. Though I have always loved and enjoyed being a parent, I am now co-parenting with the Father my children (and grandchildren) deserve. A parent that can truly love and enjoy being a parent (and now as a grandparent) beyond what I thought was possible. 

Grandparents—now that’s a good example of love. Grandparents, for the most part, give and expect little to nothing back. It is just in the giving, the cherishing, the hugging, the time they have to spend with their grandchild, that is giving back to them. They don’t care if the child is naughty, or cranky, needs a nap, or a diaper change—grandparents simply love.

It also wasn’t until I became a single mom that I was able to be as affectionate with my children as I always wanted to be. I have always been an extremely affectionate (a touchy, hugging, and kissing) mother with my seven babies on through toddler years and even into early adolescence. Unfortunately, their dad seemed to take over and the one who had the time to play with and be the affectionate parent while I was left as the sole disciplinarian. It wasn’t that I no longer loved them, but for some odd reason, I felt I was too busy, and besides, their dad was an overtly affectionate man. It was only when their dad divorced me and moved away, only then did the Lord open my eyes to what was now missing in their lives—long and luxurious hugs and affection.

It wasn’t only the younger children, it wasn’t just the girls who I was able to pour the love I was receiving from my Heavenly Husband—even my older boys began to thrive with the show of affection that seemed to spring up like a fountain the year after the divorce. At night instead of just a quick hug, tucking in, or a “good night, I love you,” I began to realize I began giving long, wonderful hugs often embracing them when they sat on my knee—and yes, some were just as big as I was! My children began to thrive rather than wither from the loss of their dad, and this, again, was all due to the love He gave me. 

Let me be clear before moving on… you do not need to face divorce, separation, or be in a lifeless marriage to experience His love as a bride feels on her honeymoon. As mothers, each of us needs the love of a Husband who is perfect, patient, kind, and every other adjective described in 1 Corinthians chapter 13. Then with this love, we are able to pour out His pure love onto everyone in our life!

It is my youngest daughter, who sings the song I began this chapter with. She sings it so beautifully, in a very mature tone and experienced fashion; however, one day I looked beyond her outside appearance and looked at her heart. This little girl and your little girl, your little boy, and my little boy, and all of our big (or older) children are looking for this love: the love that takes their heart and promises not to break it. 

Do me a favor and read the lyrics again, but as you do, picture one of your children singing it to you.

 “L” is for the way you look at me.

“O” is for the only one I see.

“V” is for the very, very extra ordinary

“E” is even more than any one that you adore.

And love is all that I can give to you,

Love is more than just a game for two.

Two in love can make it—take my heart and please don’t break it.

Love was made for me and you, 

love was made for me and you, 

love was made for me and you! 

Every child wants to feel that their parents love them, and even if you have an absent father (absent due to divorce, death, or apathy), your love is enough to change the course of their life. All that is necessary is for you to go to the true Source of love and get that love so you can let it flow into and flow over your child. Once you understand how much He loves, cherishes, and longs just to have you near Him, you will be able to give that love (the unpolluted kind) to your child. He doesn’t want you to earn or work for it—it is freely given no matter if you are the “naughtiest” daughter that ever existed. Trust me, I know!

You may have said, or thought, “‘The LORD has forsaken me, and the Lord has forgotten me.’ Can a woman forget her nursing child and have no compassion on the son of her womb? Even these may forget, but I will not forget you. Behold, I have inscribed you on the palms of My hands; [you are] continually before Me” (Isaiah 49:14-16). 

A nursing baby is loved not because of what they can give back. A baby gives nothing and takes everything, yet the mother who loves that child loves because that baby is hers. This is true for the Lord, and what we must experience in order to love our children—a love that a child can feel and trust. A love that is there no matter what. A child who is truly loved is a child who will be a channel of love and a child who will forever be enjoyed.

Do you want to really enjoy your children and love being a parent? Do you want to experience true love, so that you can give that perfect love to your child—a love that will change you, and your child, for eternity? Then just turn the page.