I just have to quickly interject something here before I continue:
After the initial conversation that Sunday, the hate walls between me and Kevin were bigger than ever before. After the divorce and after their first holiday together, Kevin told me that his eyes opened a bit to the reality of having the four children together. After that time, we became friends again and we did things together with the children as a family and spent a lot of time together. When the kids were with him, he would invite me over for dinner. And if the kids were with me, he would be here just visiting until he had to go to sleep for work the next day. But I knew the pull towards the OW was still strong and he still went to visit her. But at the same time, he also accused me of having somebody else, he said he could see it in my face (well, I did have SOMEBODY else, a Heavenly Husband, but even if I did try to explain, I don’t think he understood).
Then suddenly, he decided to move away, and he moved in with the OW and her children. We still got along fine when he picked up or dropped off the children, and I left him alone to live his life and to go after the happiness he wanted. But not being close to his children affected him a lot and it also affected the children because, living far away, he couldn’t pop in after work to tuck them in and he really became a weekend dad.
But I knew and still know it today, maybe because my Husband reminded me about it; money wasn’t the only reason he started the custody issue, there was a couple of months after the worst lockdowns ended that he worked less and got less pay, but it was only a few months after everything settled down they started to live a high life with a big house, fancy cars, a caravan and private schools.
What he also told me after that first holiday was that he can’t have her children stay with him at the expense of his own children, see them most of the time, but his own children he only sees over weekends. So deep in my heart I know that was the biggest reason for the custody case, but it is something I just gave to my Husband and I left it there.
Back to the custody “battle”:
So the next thing that happened was that me and Kevin had gone to his lawyer with a mediator because the original settlement had to be changed.
The mediator was a small, young woman and she said she prayed about this case before she went there. I just said thank you and that I also prayed.
That was another day I cannot clearly remember, I just remember sitting around that table and I saw them with papers, payslips and calculators, trying to see how they can get Kevin’s budget to work out, and just to prove to themselves and to me that he can’t afford them living with me anymore.
There were two things I remember very clearly from that meeting; his lawyer turned to me and asked me two things:
- “Have you ever met the OW, do you know how nice she is?” (she was her divorce lawyer and Kevin used her for our divorce as well)
- “Can’t you get a rich husband that can look after you so that you can keep the kids?”
I couldn’t even answer; I was just to stunned that she would ask something like that. At some point, his lawyer suggested that we take the children to get a “Voice of the child” to find out where they want to stay and what they want to do.
Kevin agreed, but because he works during the day, I had to make the appointments and take them. It was the last thing I wanted to do because I do not believe in psychiatrists at all due to my own experiences I had after my mother passed away.
But I just talked to my Husband and told Him how I feel about this, but that I know I must be obedient to what was asked of me and that I know He will be with them throughout.
So, the first appointment was made, and I took them. Her consulting room was at a church and when they went in for the first session, I saw a small hill on the church grounds with three crosses and in that moment, I just felt drawn there. I just stood there and looked at the cross and I talked to my Father, because, at that moment, I needed a Father. I was broken, I felt lost with the whole situation and the whole process, bringing my kids to this place and the possibility of losing full custody over my children, moving 100km away and just seeing them every second weekend.
There at the foot of the cross, my heart truly broke, and I could understand how some women can just take their children and flee, do crazy things or even commit suicide when they lose custody. Up until that point, I was just walking and operating in a daze, it was just my Heavenly Husband that was keeping me upright and functioning. But there at the foot of the cross, He lifted the daze and He started to talk to me, and He assured me that everything will be okay and that this is all part of His plan, and He would be with me each and every step of the way.
For more on Counselling and Psychology, please read Course 2, Day 25: Counselling and Psychology on HopeAtLast.com
To be continued…
Oh Adina l absolutely LOVED reading all 3 Chapters!!! Thank you for being so raw and real.. what l loved the most is what you shared in the 2nd Chapter.. how you reverted to your old self and forgot the principle of “agreeing”. I too many times could just kick myself fight bcos l forgot principles in the heat of the moment acting in the flesh.. but we thank God for His grace 🙏
NOTHING you went thru during this entire journey.. all the heartache & pain is for no reason.. I thank God for you & this testimony.. what you went thru because l KNOW it will help so many women that are facing this battle..
I am reminded that Erin has been so open in sharing her journey and the mistakes she made with us and how much it has helped us.. and now you are sharing yours.. it will bring a lot of comfort and hope to so many women.
Typo: live should life..[ they started to live a high life]
I’m going to share this on the Hope At Last blog so that it can bless more women!!
Thank you Atarah, typo fixed.
Yes sometimes our flesh takes over in the heat of the moment and we do and say all the wrong things. But His grace is sufficient for us and He knows our hearts.
I think it would be good to share on Hopeatlast as well since there is so many principles from WW and FDA that can be applied in every situation where something huge is coming against us.
Hey Adina, thank you for sharing your story. The Lord is surely using your story to encourage and bless me. Giving up my children especially the younger one hasn’t been easy. The unfailing love of my Heavenly Father carries me through everyday. I’m also beginning to appreciate them as a gift from my Father. They were His before they were mine and I could never love them like He does.
Hello my dearest Dina, I am so sorry to hear that you also went through this heartbreaking experience. And it is also His love and holding on to Him that carries me through each day and gives me peace that surpasses all understanding. He loves them more than we ever can and He is their Father who is always with them and the only one that can truly protect them, beter than we ever can. I want to share a lesson with you that helped me tremendously during this journey: https://loveatlast.org/finding-the-abundant-life/chapter-12-your-best-protection/
Oh Adina, it must have been so difficult. Thank you for sharing your heart and it is wonderful to see how He brought you through it all and healed you. I agree, taking my son, Own to the psychiatrist twice a year and having to give him pills was very hard for me, but I also surrendered it to Him and He made a way.
Yes Yvonne, this was probably the hardest thing I had to go through. And being obedient to do something you do not agree with is even more difficult, but we can give it to Him and just rest that He has it under control.
Dearest darling Adina. When I commented from my phone earlier this morning, I lost everything when I left to grab something to post—forgetting once again that if you open a blog from your email inbox is dangerous… nevertheless, as He always does, He used it for GOOD.
I spent the rest of the morning doing some RJN work—it was so fun and now I am back to share.
1. At the top, you’ll see a first draft of your book cover plus your book and 3 chapters are now on NRPH. If I’m not mistaken, YOU are on the RADD team and do covers so you’ll find the picture etc., in OneDrive and 🌿 NRP 📚 BRANCH Project Office for when you’re back from your honeymoon.
2. While working on yours, I updated the newer cover for Yvonne… https://narrowroadpublishinghouse.com/rjns/ and noticed Atarah, you are missing a title https://narrowroadpublishinghouse.com/rjn-atarah/ though I was tempted to suggest, my Husband said to leave it to you.
3. One really fun thing is at the bottom of all the RJNs it says “JOIN the conversation”, but all of them link back HERE… so that means all RJN novelists need to start a conversation. Yvonne my Husband reminded me of your blog post I’d read and joined in the conversation.
Posted in: RJN https://loveatlast.org/category/rjn/
Filed under: #MBH https://loveatlast.org/tag/mbh/
So these #tags should tie everything together if they’re not overused.
Before posting the comment, I am mesmerized by your story as I know everyone will be when they’ve been given the opportunity of reading it. So inspiring. I could say more…I’m a fan…
Yes I am on the RADD team and I saw the draft, love it 🙂 The more I look at the picture the more I like it, because He chose it!
My dear what an inspiring journey!!! In the middle of our trials, we sometimes do not understand that we we will be a blessing to so many women!!!
My dear thank you for sharing your journey and how the Lord led you through each step!!!
My dearest Adina, I really have no words for this ordeal that you have gone through and sometimes still face. I thought my struggle with my children was an exception, but I am honored to know you. How hard must it have been to hear the question
“have you met the other woman, she is very nice” or “Can you find a rich man you can have your children back” Wow I am so in awe of your courage and strength, because I don’t think I could be silent in that moment. Thank you for sharing your journey and how our HH assisted you.