RJN “My Custody Loss” Chapter 8

More than a year has passed since the kids went to stay with Kevin and the OW during the week. I have learned a lot during this year, but looking back I can clearly see His hand in my life. If it weren’t for my Heavenly Husband, I would not have made it through the first year. I can honesty say it was a good year, yes there were trails, but overall it was a good year.

I had a lot of time to just sit with my Husband and just be in His presence, reading the Bible or working through lessons. I had more time to take care of myself and go to the gym, clean my house and relax a little. Financially I was better off than the previous two years, I did not have millions, but I was able to pay everything without worries and buy what me and the children needed when they were with me, and I was able to take them out to fun places once a month.

My relationship with my children changed because I was able to spend quality time with them without rushing them to school and back, doing homework, cooking and getting them ready for the next day. Having them with me over weekends and school holidays, changed our relationship for good.

Everything I was afraid would happen, for example my daughter getting closer to the OW, didn’t happen. My daughter asked me to do her nails over the holidays, she asked me to do her make-up to see what she will look like, she comes to me with her problems and asks my advice. My son clings to me when he is with me, he is always close by my side.

And my Heavenly Husband answered one of my biggest prayers! At the beginning of the year when they left, I shared my biggest concern with my Husband, I told Him that my daughter is at the age where she would become a big girl, and if it was His will, to please let it happen when she was with me, but I will be okay if it doesn’t happen the way I want it. He led me to buy everything she would need, a pretty bag to put everything she would need in her school bag, supplies to take to her dad and to keep at my place, and I spoke to her about the changes that will happen in her body, just preparing her for this big event in a girl’s life. But my Husband answered my prayer and late last year it happened over a weekend they were with me!!!! I was able to guide her through everything and just be there for her! He is SOOO amazing and gave me the desires of my heart!

I learned to ask Him to reveal anything of concern to me, because I do not ask my children any questions about what happens at their dad’s place. I do not want to put my children on the spot or make them feel like they are spying for me, I am also really not interested in what happens over there, if there is something I must be concerned about regarding my children and that I should now, my Husband will reveal it to me. And over the last month or so, He revealed some concerning things, but it is things that happen at school and the peer pressure that children are under these days and bullying, but I am trusting Him to help me to guide them through this.

I learned to trust my Heavenly Husband for my children’s protection, even if the situation was different, I can’t protect my children. I am not always with them and my protection is no protection at all. He is always with them and as their Heavenly Father, who loves them more than I ever can, He is more that capable of protecting them. I must just stay on my knees and let their protection go into His mighty, ever present hands.

I learned to ask only my Husband’s guidance and He proofed to me that His guidance is the best there is! When my daughter struggled with mathematics, He showed me it was because of the change in first language schools. They were always in Afrikaans first language schools, with English as second language, but when they went to stay with Kevin, they changed to an English first language, Afrikaans second language school. He also provided a math tutor to help her, which is a family member who I never knew gave extra math classes!

I have learned to always ask my Husband first when Kevin ask me something. Kevin always asks me before school holidays how I would like to arrange the schedule. But I always ask my Husband first and He led me to always tell Kevin that I trust him to be fair with the schedule and that I will leave it in his hands to decide. And every time, except for one holiday (but my HH had better plans for us) Kevin’s schedule turned out exactly the way I discussed it with my Husband. Proofing that having a gentle and quiet spirit really does work, but it is not forced, it is my Husband guiding me and giving me the ability to have a gentle and quiet spirit.

I have learned that without the Lord as our Husband, without holding on to Him, we cannot get through any trail, and get through it with peace and joy. I have learned that if He is all we want, all we have and all we need, then we have everything we need to live, and not just survive, but to live the Abundant Life He died to give us!

I have learned how much He loves us, cares about us and He is concerned about us, He knows everything that is in our hearts and loves to fellowship with us. He loves to fight our battles for us, we just need to be still in His presence! This year I truly felt like I came home, to where I always needed to be, in His loving arms!

It is my hope and prayer that what I shared in my Novel, will help and encourage you to go through custody battles, or anything that comes against you, with Him as your Mighty Counsellor, with Him right by your side holding you, because if you face these trails with Him and His way, He will be faithful and turn it around for your good!