Chapter 3 Meek or Weak

Meek is regarded as weak. Yet the Lord actually told us, “Blessed are the meek”! Men treat women, their mothers, sisters, wives, just women in general in basically two ways, either apathetically, by showing lack of interest or showing any concern.  Or worse, using the “tough love” approach once their patience runs out. Have you noticed this with your father or uncles or grandfather? In this chapter, it's important that you learn directly from God’s Word so you know the truth “…and you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free” (John 8:32) regarding the power of being meek but first, the dangers and destruction of tough love.

Love is . . . God gives us a description of love. See if you can find the word “tough” or any word even remotely similar. “Love is patient, love is kind, and is not jealous; love does not brag and is not arrogant, does not act unbecomingly; it does not seek its own, is not provoked, does not take into account a wrong suffered, does not rejoice in unrighteousness, but rejoices with the truth; bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never fails . . .” (1 Corinthians 13:4–8).

I command you. Another very popular statement in the church today is love is a choice. Read the following verse with me to see if God says we can “choose” to love (the love described in 1 Corinthians 13:4–8 that "never fails”).  Or does God actually command that we do so as His followers? “This I command you, that you love one another” (John 15:17).

Do good, bless. Sometimes, when people in our lives act in ways that bother us, especially if they're pushy or they manipulate us, we go on the attack. Or does God say we should act differently than we feel? “But I say to you who hear, love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, bless those who curse you, pray for those who mistreat you” (Luke 6:27–28). Did you see it? The Lord gave us three choices when dealing with those we would rather be tough with: 1) do good to them, 2) bless them, or 3) pray for them.

Overcome evil with good. In the popular Christian book Love Must Be Tough, the author tells us to cause a crisis (in other words, to take matters into our own hands). However, God tells us that we are to leave room for His wrath. “Rejoicing in hope, persevering in tribulation, devoted to prayer. Bless those who persecute you; bless and curse not. Never pay back evil for evil to anyone. Never take your own revenge, beloved, but leave room for the wrath of God, for it is written, ‘Vengeance is Mine, I will repay,’ says the Lord. But if your enemy is hungry, feed him, and if thirsty, give him a drink; for in doing so you will heap burning coals upon his head. Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good” (Romans 12:12, 14, 17, 19, 21).

Follow in His steps. Be careful what you read and who you follow. Do your research to see if it's what God says. The interesting thing is, when it feels good in the flesh, you can be sure it's not the way the Lord took the time to live as an example for us to follow in His steps—to the point of being put to death when He was innocent. “For you have been called for this purpose, since the Lord also suffered for you, leaving you an example for you to follow in His steps . . . and while being reviled, He did not revile in return; while suffering, He uttered no threats, but kept entrusting Himself to Him [God] who judges righteously” (1 Peter 2:21–23). 

Who inherits the earth? Everyone is afraid that if they don’t take matters into their own hands and take a “tough stand,” people will take advantage of them. They'll mock you and call you “weak.” Let me remind you who the Lord said are blessed. “Blessed are the meek, for they [not the bullies or mean] shall inherit the earth” (Matthew 5:5).

Does not achieve. Oh, and people love to cite the one time the Lord showed his anger—when He turned over the tables in the temple. Don’t excuse your behavior comparing yourself to the Lord—giving you the “right” to be angry with people. God says He is a jealous God. Does this mean we can be jealous? No. “But let everyone be quick to hear, slow to speak, and slow to anger; for the anger of man does not achieve the righteousness of God” (James 1:19–20). There's your answer.

You may not do the things that you please. When we impulsively do or say something that is anything but meek and loving, we are walking in the flesh and are not walking in the Spirit. “But I say, walk in the Spirit, and you will not carry out the desire of the flesh. For the flesh sets its desire against the Spirit, and the Spirit against the flesh; for these are in opposition to one another, so that you may not do the things that you please . . . But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control” (Galatians 5:16, 17, 22–23). The old saying “do unto others as you would have them do unto you” is actually based on what God said, “And just as you want people to treat you, treat them in the same way” (Luke 6:31).

No one will see the Lord. Another extremely important reason to be gentle toward the women and girls in your life is that it's the only way anyone will see the Lord: by seeing Him in us. “Pursue peace with all men, and the sanctification without which no one will see the Lord” (Hebrews 12:14).

Doers of the Word. It’s important that we learn the truth and agree with what God says, but we must not stop there. “But prove yourselves doers of the word, and not merely hearers who delude themselves. . . . Not having become a forgetful hearer but an effectual doer, this man shall be blessed in what he does” (James 1:22,25). “Therefore, to him who knows the right thing to do, and does not do it, to him it is sin” (James 4:17).

Carried away by unprincipled men. God warns us that we should not listen to or follow men who tell us something contrary to what He said. “Be diligent to be found by Him in peace, spotless and blameless, and regard the patience of our Lord to be salvation; just as also our beloved brother Paul, according to the wisdom given him . . . in which are some things hard to understand, which the untaught and unstable distort, as they do also the rest of Scripture, to their own destruction. You therefore, beloved, knowing this beforehand, be on your guard lest, being carried away by the error of unprincipled men, you fall from your own steadfastness, but grow in the grace and knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ” (2 Peter 3:14–18).

Forgiveness

Many men think it's beneath them to forgive. Is it because they don’t fully understand the grave consequences of their lack of forgiveness? Let’s search God's Word to see what He says about forgiving.

Let's begin with WHY should we forgive?

Because God forgave us. “And be kind to one another, tender-hearted, forgiving each other, just as God in Christ also has forgiven you” (Ephesians 4:32).

Because the Lord shed His blood. Remember who shed His blood for the forgiveness of sins, “All things are cleansed with blood, and without the shedding of blood there is no forgiveness” (Hebrews 9:22). “For this is my blood of the covenant, which is poured out for many for the forgiveness of sins” (Matthew 26:28).

Are we ignorant of Satan’s schemes? “For if indeed what I have forgiven . . . I did it...in order that no advantage be taken of us by Satan; for we are not ignorant of his schemes” (2 Corinthians 2:10-11). Don’t allow the enemy to take you down by not forgiving. It's both foolish and dangerous.

Forgive from your heart. God said that He won’t forgive us if we don’t forgive other people. “For if you forgive men for their transgressions, your heavenly Father will also forgive you, but if you do not forgive men, then your Father will not forgive your transgressions” (Matthew 6:14–15). “So shall My heavenly Father also do to you, if each of you do not forgive his brother from your heart” (Matthew 18:35).

Wait. Shouldn’t the offender be sorry before I forgive?

Father, forgive them. Those who crucified the Lord never asked forgiveness, and they were clearly not at all sorrow for what they were doing or what they had done. Yet, while on the cross, He said, “Father forgive them, for they know not what they do” (Luke 23:34). Even while Stephen was being stoned, he cried out just before he died, “Lord, do not hold this sin against them!” (Acts 7:60).

Yeah, but there's a limit. How often does God expect us to forgive another?

Seventy times seven. When Peter asked how often he was to forgive his brother, the Lord said to him, “I do not say to you, up to seven times, but up to seventy times seven” (Matthew 18:22). You can do the math 490 times for the same offense. But the point He was making is that we need to forgive the offender over and over without end.

Inherit a blessing. By not forgiving, you've also missed one of the most significant spiritual inheritances God wants to give us. “Not returning evil for evil, or insult for insult, but giving a blessing instead; for you were called for the very purpose that you might inherit a blessing” (1 Peter 3:9). 

Forget it. Does forgiveness really mean that I forget what that person did to me, even during a heated argument? “For I will forgive their iniquity, and their sin I will remember no more” (Jeremiah 31:34). “As far as the east is from the west, so far has He removed our transgressions from us” (Ps. 103:12). Do you bring up things from the past? Don’t allow the enemy to use you to bring up things from the past that God has forgiven. 

It's impossible! How can anyone forgive like God has asked us to do?

Who can forgive sins? Only God can do it. “Who can forgive sins but God alone?” (Mark 2:7). The Lord said the same thing while on the cross, and Steven while being stoned, “Father, forgive them . . .” Neither man said, “I forgive you.”

Be real. When I faced having to forgive the unforgivable sin in marriage, being cheated on, I knew that God said I must forgive, but knowing I couldn't. First, I didn't want to forgive. Second, I didn't think he deserved to be forgiven. So I told God, my Father, exactly how I felt (He knows anyway, right?). But then I said, "I can't do it, but You can, so You do it, and I will trust You to forgive them." Instantly, the burden and unbearable pain were gone. Each time I felt these feelings, I would talk to God in the same way—even when something would trigger those same feelings.

When do I need to forgive those who have hurt me? Shouldn’t I feel convicted first and then do it?

First, be reconciled. “If therefore you are presenting your offering at the altar, and there remember that your brother has something against you, leave your offering there before the altar, and go your way; first be reconciled to your brother, and then come and present your offering” (Matthew 5:23–24). If you have not forgiven someone, you need to ask for their forgiveness; now, don't wait.

Bitterness. Not forgiving someone causes bitterness. The definition of bitterness is “poison”! “Let all bitterness and wrath and anger . . . be put away from you” (Eph 4:31). Not forgiving another eats away at you, not the other person. “The heart knows its own bitterness” (Prov. 14:10). “For He knows the secrets of the heart” (Ps. 44:21).