Chapter 6 Angry Man

Ask yourself, “Will I become an angry man?” If your father, stepfather, or grandfather was or is an angry man, then chances are—you will be an angry man, too. Also, if you're used to getting your own way and have been indulged by your mother or sisters or girlfriends, chances are, you are already an angry man.

Why does it matter?

Because it matters a lot to God— so it should matter to us. How do we know it matters to God? Well, because anger is mentioned 266 times in the Bible. The majority of these are written concerning God’s anger toward people who sinned repeatedly without repenting. The word angry is mentioned 87 times, and now let's discuss the lies. Some absurd preachers tell their congregation that we are commanded to be angry. Seriously? Let's check to see if this is true. Don't just assume what you hear is true, because the only way to know what is true is to see what God said in His Word. Let's do that regarding anger.

Angry Men in Scripture

There are many accounts of angry men and the consequences suffered by men who could not overcome their anger. They kept trying to “rise above” their anger. Let's start in the beginning with Cain.

Angry Cain. As far as Cain, his anger was triggered when God had no respect for his offering like He did for Abel's. So Cain became very angry, and it said, "his countenance fell." He said, "Regarding Cain and his offering, God did not look with favor. So Cain was very angry, and his face was downcast. Then the Lord said to Cain, ‘Why are you angry? Why is your face downcast? If you do what is right, will you not be accepted? But if you do not do what is right, sin is crouching at your door; it desires to have you, but you must rule over it" (Genesis 4:5). Cain’s pride and anger towards his brother took over to the point of him committing the first murder. 

Moses. Moses was a man whom God used mightily. Yet it was his anger that often got in his way. “But they did not listen to Moses . . . and Moses was angry with them” (Exodus 16:20). Many times, Moses was angered by the disobedience and sinfulness of the people he was called to lead to the Promised Land. “An angry man stirs up strife, and a hot-tempered man abounds in transgression” (Proverbs 29:22). Count how many times Moses exhibits his anger, which ultimately he paid a price for.

“But Moses searched carefully for the goat of the sin offering, and behold, it had been burned up! So he was angry with Aaron’s surviving sons . . .” (Levitcus 10:16).

“Then Moses became very angry and said to the Lord, ‘Do not regard their offering! I have not taken a single donkey from them, nor have I done harm to any of them’” (Numbers 16:15).

“And Moses was angry with the officers of the army . . .” (Numbers 31:14).

Moses said, “And all these your servants will come down to me and bow themselves before me, saying, ‘Go out, you and all the people who follow you,’ and after that I will go out. And he went out from Pharaoh in hot anger” (Exodus 11:8).

“And it came about, as soon as Moses came near the camp, that he saw the calf and the dancing; and Moses’ anger burned, and he threw the tablets from his hands and shattered them at the foot of the mountain” (Exodus 32:19).

Time to get real. Have you ever thrown anything when you were angry? Don’t make the mistake of using Moses’ anger as an excuse for your own anger. The truth is that God did use him mightily in spite of his weakness in this area; but to excuse sin is placing yourself on dangerous ground. 

Speaking to Moses, “Aaron said, ‘Do not let the anger of my lord burn; you know the people yourself, that they are prone to evil’” (Exodus 32:22).

Moses was a man blessed by God in many ways, but his anger caused him to miss the blessing of going into the Promised Land. Moses was barred from entering the Promised Land, because he disobeyed God by striking a rock twice instead of speaking to it to bring forth water, thus failing to trust in God's power and prove him worthy so instead, Joshua took his place.

Don't risk missing out on huge blessings because you fail to conquer your anger with self-control. Now let's go to the next example, Jonah.

Angry Jonah. “But it greatly displeased Jonah, and he became angry” (Jonah 4:1).

“And the Lord said [to Jonah], ‘Do you have good reason to be angry?’” (Jonah 4:4). Many times, after you calm down, aren’t you surprised when you realize how stupid it was to get so angry over something so small and insignificant?

What did the Lord say about being angry? “But I say to you that everyone who is angry with his brother shall be guilty before the court; and whoever shall say to his brother, ‘Raca, idiot, good-for-nothing’ is guilty before the supreme court; and whoever shall say, ‘You fool,’ shall be guilty enough to go into the fiery hell” (Matthew 5:22). Was the Lord just talking about being angry with a brother? No. He was talking about being angry with anyone—especially family! Does that mean that you are guilty enough for hell? Well, what did He say? Thankfully if you are His, if you're a born again Christians, the Lord saved you from the consequences of your sin because He continues to cleanse us from our sins.

“If we confess our sins, He is faithful and righteous to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness” (1 John 1:9). Note that He says if we confess. The question then is, if you have a problem with anger, have you confessed this sin to the Lord your Savior? Have you confessed it to the people you've wronged? “Raca” means “worthless” in Greek. Have you ever told someone, like a younger sibling, or heaven forbid a parent that they were worthless? The He says, not me, but Him, that you are guilty of fiery hell, unless you repent. If you think that you will lose their respect by asking them to forgive you, try it and see. They may just give you the respect that you’ve been longing for from them.

Angry tempers. “For I am afraid that perhaps when I come I may find you to be not what I wish and may be found by you to be not what you wish; that perhaps there may be strife, jealousy, angry tempers, disputes, slanders, gossip, arrogance, disturbances . . .” (2 Corinthians 12:20). What would your friends discover if they saw how you acted with your family? Or maybe what your family would see how you treat classmates?

Commanded to be angry? As I mentioned in the beginning, it's shocking how many preachers have used the following verse to tell the people in their pews who want to have their ears tickled that we are actually commanded to be angry. Taken out of context this would seem true. Yet, when searching for the truth, you need  to read the entire verse, reading above and below it. “Be angry, and yet do not sin; do not let the sun go down on your anger, and do not give the devil a way to defeat you . . . ” (Ephesians 4:26–27).

Anger is a natural reaction when someone offends us, or should we say a fleshly reaction. But as His followers, we must walk in the Spirit! “But I say, walk by the Spirit, and you will not carry out the desire of the flesh” (Galatians 5:16).

How to Gain Control of Your Anger

By having discretion. “A man’s discretion makes him slow to anger, and it is his glory to overlook a transgression” (Proverbs 19:11). How do you gain discretion? “I, wisdom, dwell with prudence, and I find knowledge and discretion” (Proverbs 8:12).

By having wisdom. “Scorners set a city aflame, but wise men turn away anger” (Proverbs 29:8). Where do you find wisdom? You find it in your fear of the Lord. “The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom . . .” (Psalm 111:10).

Are you “practicing” the deeds of the flesh or the fruits of the Spirit? “Now the deeds of the flesh are evident, which are: immorality, impurity, sensuality, idolatry, sorcery, enmities, strife, jealousy, outbursts of anger,disputes, dissensions, factions, envying, drunkenness, carousing, and things like these, of which I forewarn you just as I have forewarned you that those who practice such things shall not inherit the kingdom of God. But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law” (Galatians 5:19–23).

I Was Only Joking

Are you a madman? One of the most common snares that men fall into is joking around, especially in public. Do you tease those closest to you, like family about weaknesses or sometimes about things that a person has confided in you? "Just as damaging as a madman shooting a deadly weapon is someone who deceives and lies to a friend and then says, “I was only joking.”(Proverbs 26:18–19).

Empty words, silly talk, or coarse jesting. “But do not let immorality or any impurity or greed even be named among you, as is proper among saints; and there must be no filthiness and silly talk, or coarse jesting, which are not fitting, but rather giving of thanks...Let no one deceive you with empty words, for because of these things the wrath of God comes upon the sons of disobedience. Therefore do not be partakers with them...but instead even expose them; for it is disgraceful even to speak of the things which are done by them in secret. But all things become visible when they are exposed by the light, for everything that becomes visible is light” (Ephesians 5:3–13).

Speak as a child. Do you joke, jest, talk silliness, or waste your words with nonsense? Is what you say pleasing to the Lord? Most females hate to be teased. Some are good sports about it; most are not. As a boy, you may have practiced your jokes and talking nonsense with your friends when you were in school or in sports. You probably practiced your teasing on the outcasts at school and more than likely with your brothers or sisters. It's time to grow up. “When I was a child, I used to speak as a child, think as a child, reason as a child; when I became a man, I did away with childish things” (1 Corinthians 13:11). Now that you are a man, put away your childish ways, “trying to learn what is pleasing to the Lord.”

The Source of Your Anger . . . Pride!

“Now I, Nebuchadnezzar, praise, exalt, and honor the King of heaven, for all His works are true and His ways just, and He is able to humble those who walk in pride” (Daniel 4:37).

Why are so many men angry? Is it because Christian men imitate the world and the world’s thinking? Almost all the books we read, the counselors we seek, and the classes we attend do not reflect God’s Word, which is pure and uncompromising. Instead, the church continues to present us with a Christianized worldly view.

Poison dipped in chocolate is still poison! Warriors, the deadly worldly views are more dangerous when they are dipped in Christianity because everyone eats it right up! Believers have been brainwashed into thinking that “self-love” and “self-esteem” are good things; yet, these attitudes are the root of our problem. It’s the “know-it-all” who argues and wants his own way, because he knows (thinks) he is right. And when he is wrong, his self-esteem needs to be protected. There is never a humble word or an “I’m sorry.” The angry man has been conditioned to think that to make an apology would be too humiliating—a sign of weakness. His “self-love” will take him down after he's climbed up on his pedestal of pride—falling again and again.

What is the cure? “And when they came to Marah, they could not drink the waters of Marah, for they were bitter; therefore it was named Marah” (Exodus 15:23). Moses threw a tree into the water, a representation of the cross where your Savior died for you. You must also throw the cross into your sea of bitterness. He died to free you from all sin, including anger, pride, and self-absorbed behavior.

Here is God’s prescription. God told us that if we, as a nation, would humble ourselves, seek His face, and turn from our wicked ways, He would heal our land. Instead, we “walk in the counsel of the wicked” (Psalm 1:1) and we “trust in mankind” (Jeremiah 17:5). This is why we will have superficial healing! “The brokenness of His people is healed superficially” (Jeremiah 8:11).

Psychology in the church. It is extremely dangerous for Christians to act as if man’s ideas or psychology is God’s Word. It is also dangerous to use God’s Word to promote current worldly views in the church. “‘The prophet who has a dream may relate his dream, but let him who has My Word speak My Word in Truth. What does straw have in common with grain?’ declares the Lord . . . ‘Behold, I am against the prophets,’ declares the Lord, ‘who use their tongues and declare, “the Lord declares.”’” (Jeremiah 23:28, 30, 31). What does psychology (straw) have in common with God’s Word (grain)?

Self-Esteem

Are you being trained to have self-esteem? The word “self-esteem” should make a Christian cringe since it is just another word for “pride.” This is a wolf’s word in sheep’s clothing! You will soon witness yourself acting arrogant and self-absorbed. What's worse is that you're misearble! It is absurd to think that anyone needs to be built up to feel good about themselves—most people are completely self-absorbed already! From birth, a child wants his own way, so he cries. Won’t a two-year-old scream and pitch a fit until he gets what he wants?

Building a child’s self-esteem. There are books and books and more books written for Christians by Christians, but many of the teachings are not what God teaches in His Word. Let’s look at what God tells us about building our self-esteem. 

Pride is a sin. Pride was the first sin ever committed by the angel Lucifer, who later became Satan. “Your heart was lifted up because of your beauty; you corrupted your wisdom by reason of your splendor. I (God) cast you to the ground” (Ezekiel 28:17). Satan also said, “I will make myself like the Most High” (Isaiah 14:14). Yet, parents believe they should continually praise their children for their beauty, and to “reach fo the top,” to “reach for the stars,” and to “believe in yourself.”

“Self-esteem” began as a lie, formed by twisting God's Word. Satan used Scripture when he tempted Jesus in the desert and he uses it today. He just twists it a little and makes it a half-truth. But we know that anything that is half-true is a lie. Don't forget what Abraham said about his wife, Sarah (“she is my sister,” Genesis 12:19).

“Love your neighbor as yourself” (Matthew 22:39). Those who have psychology degrees will try to tell you that this verse means you have to love yourself before you can love anyone else. In other words, “self-love” is necessary and that most of us hate ourselves. Is this true or a lie? It is a lie! Why—because it contradicts God’s Word. God says, “For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it . . .” (Ephesians 5:29).

The last will be first. You may have been taught that being first should be your goal and that you cannot please anyone unless you please yourself. The truth is, “If anyone wants to be first, he shall be last of all, and servant of all” (Mark 9:35). “But many who are first will be last; and the last first” (Matthew 19:30).

The world tells us to speak well of ourselves, but the Lord said, “And whoever exalts himself [put yourself above others] will be humbled; and whoever humbles himself will be exalted and honored” (Matthew 23:12).

Learn from Nebuchadnezzar—his grandson didn’t. Nebuchadnezzar who was proud of his power and wealth, was made to be like the cattle of the field and to eat grass. Yet his grandson chose to exalt himself. “Yet you, his son, Belshazzar, have not humbled your heart, even though you knew all this, but you have exalted yourself . . .” (Daniel 5:22–23). What a fool!

Why do you boast? “For who regards you as superior? And what do you have that you did not receive? But if you did receive it from God, why do you boast . . .?” (1 Corinthians 4:7).

As we humble ourselves, then God is free to exalt us. “. . . Clothe yourselves with humility toward one another, for God is opposed to the proud, but gives grace to the humble. Humble yourselves, therefore, under the mighty hand of God, that He may exalt you at the proper time . . .” (1 Pet. 5:5–6). “God is opposed to the proud, but gives grace to the humble . . . Humble yourselves in the presence of the Lord, and He will exalt you” (James 4:6, 11).

What can we do if we have been prideful?

Learn from the Lord. “Take My yoke upon you, and learn from Me, for I am gentle and humble in heart . . .” (Matthew 11:29).

Boast in the Lord. “But he who boasts, let him boast in the Lord. For not he who commends himself is approved, but whom the Lord commends” (2 Corinthians 10:17–18).

Don’t praise yourself. “Let another praise you and not your own mouth; a stranger and not your own lips” (Proverbs 27:2).

And if you don’t humble yourself?

“Woe to those who are wise in their own eyes and clever in their own eyes” (Isaiah 5:21).

“Do you see a man wise in his own eyes? There is more hope for a fool than for him” (Proverbs 26:12).

“For anyone who thinks he is something when he is nothing, he deceives himself” (Galatians 6:3).

Can you see anywhere where God instructs us to build up our self-esteem? Are we to pride ourselves in what we have done, or made, or accomplished? 

How do we Begin to Change?

Confess your sins. “Therefore, confess your sins to one another, and pray for one another, so that you may be healed. The effective prayer of a righteous man can accomplish much” (James 5:16). Pray for an opportunity to talk to those closest to you. Don’t say too much, justifying yourself or blaming the person for your anger. Just tell those who deserve your apology honestly that God has opened your eyes about being angry. Then any time you blow up, or lose it, confess to those who have been hurt by your anger. Continue to ask for forgiveness.

Stumbles. This verse separates the men from the boys, or, actually, the righteous from the wicked. Which one will you prove to be? “For a righteous man falls seven times, and rises again, but the wicked stumble in time of calamity” (Proverbs 24:16). You will stumble even after you humble yourself and confess your past failures. “Therefore let him who thinks he stands take heed lest he fall” (1 Corinthians 10:12). The only way to be victorious is to continue to get up again and confess over and over again. Each confession will bring about more humility; therefore, more grace will abound. This will lead to victory over this area of sin in your life and you will be a Mighty Warrior ready to lead an army!