Chaste and Respectful
. . . as they observe
Your chaste and respectful behavior.
—1 Peter 3:1-2
"Weighing the Pros & Cons"
2-minute read
Do you know what the word chaste means? Since it’s a word no one really uses anymore, most women haven’t a clue. Even the word respectful has been changed to mean the opposite of what this powerful promise once meant. Nevertheless, God’s Word is timeless, so if you search for the truth, “seek and you will find” (Matthew 7:7), if you take time to uncover hidden treasures that are buried and bring them to light, you will change not only your life but also the lives of everyone around you.
The title of this chapter, “Chaste and Respectful,” originates from a book of the Bible that Peter, a close friend of your Savior and mine, wrote. He’s encouraging women how to deal with their husbands, which was not by nagging or tricking or any number of other ways wives try to get what they may want and often simply need. No, like every other promise and principle, it’s the opposite of our human nature, which, by following, even embracing, unleashes superpowers. It’s how to win a husband’s heart by witnessing his wife, who is chaste and respectful. Interestingly too, this promise works with all authority.
So, let me ask you: If being chaste and respectful is the way God our Father and our Creator say wives are designed to be to get the most out of their marriage, doesn’t it make sense to know what both these characteristics of the sort of wife are? Peter goes on to say this kind of woman “is precious in the sight of God.”
Unfortunately, developing "Chaste and Respectful" behavior, as I said, doesn’t come naturally. So, because we want a quick fix and for things to happen quickly, we often give up just as quickly. It’s why most diets either don’t work or cause damage (or even death) because we want to drop excess weight in a matter of days rather than the many weeks it took to add the weight. In the same way, excellent qualities, “An excellent woman is hard to find, and worth far more than diamonds” (Proverbs 31:10-31), do not develop overnight, which is why, as A Wise Woman in Waiting, you are blessed because you have plenty of time to practice and gain the benefits long before you marry.
If you decide to postpone changing your behavior until you are interested in getting married, by then, it’ll be much more difficult to learn them, and you’ll also suffer the consequences most of the women who search for HopeAtLast are desperate to fix after their husbands walk out or they discover they’re cheating.
More and more marriages end within the very first year, which is probably why you may have decided to never marry. But before you choose to live a shorter and more uneventful, most often a horribly lonely life that the feminists have lied about for decades, why not explore your future and keep an open mind? As I once told my oldest son, who told me continually he would never marry, “Once you find the right woman, you’ll think differently.” That’s exactly what happened. After he met God’s choice for him, he married and has been living happily for more than a decade; he and his wife are actually one of the closest and happiest couples I’ve ever known.
Okay, then, are you with me? Are you interested, while you are still single and unmarried, to find out the benefits of being chaste and respectful? As a wise woman you'll soon discover this is another way God has planned to set you apart and lift you high on the Rock that will withstand the storms ahead whether you marry or not.
"Living Chaste"
2-minute read
So, once again, what does the word chaste actually mean? When I wrote the first Wise Woman, it included a lengthy definition of the word. But today, when I triple-tapped on the word, you’ll never guess the first word that popped up as a synonym. It was virginal.
Being a virgin in today’s society is about as rare as a 10-carat diamond ring. The fascinating thing is, as I was writing and revising this chapter for young women like yourself, HLM “He led me” to search and found a gem that size would cost well over a million dollars—meaning you'd be extraordinary, just like the popular saying goes, “she’s one in a million.”
Have you heard much about the “Proverbs 31 Woman”? The truth about this "proverbial woman" is that God never intended for women to measure themselves and their worth by her. If you read Proverbs 31 from the beginning, this woman was described as the ideal woman by the mother of the king to teach her son, the future king, so he'd know what to look for in a wife to marry. Even though It probably never was intended for us to measure ourselves and our worth, when we look to see what traits would satisfy a Prince, it might be wise since we are, in fact, a child of the King, which makes us a Princess, right? Just be sure to learn the truth about “That Too Perfect Proverbs 31 Woman!”
How impossible is it to remain a virgin? How impossible might it be for those who are no longer a virgin, beginning today, to begin living as a virgin based on the fact that you are a child of the King?
And looking at them, He said to them, "With people, this is impossible, but with God, all things are possible." Matthew 19:26
Looking at them, He said, "With people it is impossible, but not with God; for all things are possible with God." Mark 10:27
"For nothing will be impossible with God." Luke 1:37
But He said, "The things that are impossible with people are possible with God." Luke 18:27
If I were young and just starting my life over, I would wisely ask my Father to protect me and guide me. Even though I was blessed to have a very loving and protective father, each time I was almost robbed of "wearing white" and assaulted, I was too ashamed” to tell him, even though it occurred through no fault of mine. “It’s my duty to make sure that the enemy does not win even a small victory over us, for we don’t want to be naïve and then fall prey to his schemes.” 2 Corinthians 2:11 Even though I don't remember asking my Father to protect me, I met my #FBF Best Friend early enough so He was there to protect and guide me.
If you haven't done so yet, I'd encourage you to invest just a few minutes to secure a "happily ever after" future, read or listen to Her Wedding Clothes. When you're done (even if it may not be what you need), go on to read 🖤 My Prince of Peace 💛 because you either know or will meet someone who will need to hear these powerful and "set you free" truths.
Please Note: A 💛 yellow heart means not married, while a 🖤 black heart is designed for those most precious of the Lord's children who have been molested and violated. Search our websites for these and other emojis to find what you're interested in.
Another powerful and "set you free" truth is discovering your Father, who you can tell everything, and the Person you can trust to not only keep your secret but can change the situation. Knowing your Father is really the foundation of your life. That's why I want to also recommend you read the 💞 Adult version (with no pictures for 💞 mentors and coaches) of the cute Macy's Barn Cat book. It's just a sweet story of how your Heavenly Father wants you to go to Him and what He'll do with that trust in Him!
"Respectful Behavior"
2-minute read
Respectful Behavior. “In the same way,” win any disagreement “without a word...as they observe your chaste and respectful behavior.” 1 Peter 3:1. But, “In the same way” as Who?
Well, well, it’s none other than the Man Himself, and God says, “You have been called for this purpose,” He was “leaving you an example so that you should do the same as He did.” 1 Peter 2:21
Even though He was the Son of God, He never demanded respect. Instead, He respected people and chose never to argue but remained silent out of respect. So, what were the fruits of His behavior? Well, I'd say He gained the admiration of the people who witnessed His Respectful Behavior firsthand—but also for all the generations to come!!!
So, why then don't we see Christians, His followers, following His example? What I see, what you witness, are Believers who act and copy the way the worldly lost souls act. “May it never be! How could we who died to sin still live in sinful behavior?” Romans 6:2.
Doing it God's way is what our Savior died to give us the power to do, asking us to follow His example. Read this promise we most often think of as giving money or gifts. Read it with the mindset of giving others your Respectful Behavior, “Give, and it will be given to you. They will pour into your lap a good measure—pressed down, shaken together, and running over. For by your standard of measure, it will be measured to you in return.” Luke 6:38, God says that what you give will be given back. If you give respect, you get respect. If you demand respect, you get something ugly—selfishness.
Every woman today is told that she should demand respect. Yet, isn't this the behavior of a two-year-old child who demands and pitches a fit until he/she gets what he/she wants? As adults, the few who are mature stop acting like children. "When we were children, we thought and reasoned as children do. But once we grew up, we quit our childish behavior." 1 Corinthians 13:11.
Royalty
Let’s take a look at today’s royalty. Royals who are held in the highest esteem are soft-spoken and don’t act unbecoming. They are respectful and interested in everyday people who, in turn, greatly admire them. “Remember who you are” is a line from one of my favorite movies about Queen Victoria, who was only eighteen when she sat on the throne of England. It was her governess who reminded her of what I want to remind you of, “Remember who you are.” “You are a chosen generation, a royal, a holy nation, a peculiar people.” 1 Peter 2:9. Peculiar because as a child of God, we don't behave like, speak like, or think like everyone else in the world.
Why were you chosen? Let Him answer, “You were chosen to tell about the excellent qualities of God, Who called you out of darkness into His marvelous light.” 1 Peter 2:9 How could anyone possibly listen to or respect a person who claims to be royalty but acts unbecoming? The more you get to know your Father and hang around with your Best Friend, I can promise you that you will naturally or supernaturally become who you were chosen to be.
So whether or not you're ever a wife, which is who God is speaking to when He says, “In the same way, you wives” win any disagreement “without a word." "Even if he [your husband] opposes Our message, you will win him over by what you do. No one else will have to say anything to him.” 1 Peter 3:1. Winning an argument or winning anyone to your way of thinking will never happen when you exhibit dishonorable or disrespectful behavior—especially towards authority figures.
Yes, I know submitting to authority is another touchy subject because everyone has been screaming the opposite. Dishonorable authority figures (and most often fake authority who are not your authority) have left many scarred and too fearful to trust anyone at all. But I've got good news—actually great news!!
Guess what? The Lord agrees with you! He says: “Cursed are those who put their trust in mere humans, who rely on human strength and turn their hearts away from the Lord. They will dry up like a bush in salty desert soil, where nothing can grow."
“But blessed are those who trust in the Lord and have made the Lord their hope and confidence. They will be like trees growing beside a stream—trees with roots that reach down to the water and with leaves that are always green. They bear fruit every year and are never worried by a drought." Jeremiah 17:5-8
Oh, and if you're still struggling with being submissive to the true authority in your life, go back and reread Chapter 8, Wives, Be Subject, again. Each time I read something, I discover new hidden gems and see things differently—ways I can apply them in my life and enhance living the abundant life.
Before you continue reading the next section. Stop to spend some time alone with Whoever you enjoy spending time with and you trust the most. Talk it over with Him and ask God for more wisdom. “If any of you needs wisdom to know what you should do, you should ask God, and He will give it to you. God is generous to everyone and doesn’t find fault with them.” James 1:5. If He shows you something new and exciting, be sure you don’t keep it to yourself. Share it as a comment below.
"My Daughters"
2-minute read
Dear daughter, let’s do a bit more to understand what God, your Father, is saying to us when He chose us to be women. To help me understand specific words in the Bible, I’ve always opened my huge Strong’s Concordance, which now is so easy because we can search online.
Chaste means undefiled, innocent, modest, perfect, pure, and clean. The Webster’s Dictionary defines chaste in three ways: 1. Innocent of immorality; 2. Innocent of a manner of speech (this is what we learned in Chapter 3, “Kindness Is on Her Tongue”): 3. Dress, modest, restrained, pure, and unadorned.
Even more beautiful is how your Prince of Peace sees you and thinks of you and how He wants you to be loved. “You would be my only choice, my flawless dove, the favorite child of your mother. The young women, the queens, and all the others tell how excited you are as they sing your praises.” Song of Solomon 6:9. This daughter was special, and God set her apart—holy for Himself. As a result, she was treated in a special way and set apart from all other women, like Queen Esther. Do you know He sees you the same way, special, and why He sets you apart?
Like Queen Esther, your Father says, “For if you remain silent at this time…who knows whether you have not attained royalty, your royal position for such a time as this?” Esther 4:14
Queen Esther was set apart and was pampered to prepare her for becoming a queen. That’s the way you need to begin seeing your future. God longs for you to experience the love He speaks about in the Song of Solomon— the kind of love I also long for my daughters and you to experience. You, whom I care about as much as one of my own daughters or granddaughters who are blood-related, but so are you! We are related by the most precious connection— His blood we share as believers, as His children. That’s why I am writing this book for you. Whether or not you feel that your mother cares or you have no real mother figure, I care deeply for you. You are worth so much, my darling; you just have no idea!
Remember this: your testimony is powerful. If God granted you the blessing to remain morally pure like my daughter Tara’s “True Life Fairytale” love story or if it’s similar to "The Heartbroken Heiress," God longs to use your testimony to encourage women of all ages.
Darling, if you’re heartbroken about your past, read this promise daily… “As for you, you meant evil against me, but God meant it for good in order to bring about this present result, to preserve many people alive.” Genesis 50:20. “Even though you intended to harm me, God intended it only for good, and through me, He preserved the lives of countless people, as He is still doing today.” Genesis 50:20
Then add to this my absolute favorite promise “for such a time as this,” “And such were some of you; but you were washed, but you were sanctified, but you were justified in the name of the Lord, and in the Spirit of our God.” 1 Corinthians 6:11
When you read were, it’s past tense. You were a certain way, maybe defiled, but you were washed. First, He washed you in His blood—blood that’s a permanent stain and covers everything! In addition, blood means life, even the blood God designed to cleanse a woman's womb during her delicate and perfect monthly cycle, which I will talk more about later.
When God says, “so that He might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the Word,” Ephesians 5:26, it isn’t by water. I’ve heard so many women who try to cleanse themself after being violated, but it never works. Nevertheless, God's Word will get to the root, the source, so that every time you read or listen to any promise—you are taking a spiritual and emotional cleansing,
Darling girl, God has set you apart from all the rest. When you wake up every morning, wash your heart, mind, emotions, thoughts, and spirit in God’s promises. It’s what I do every morning before or immediately after having coffee with my Lover. My Lover Who began as my Best Friend. Once you feel His love and all the regrets stop haunting you, you will realize there is no need to give away what is yours alone to any man. You can save yourself for the husband your Father chooses for you. A loving, kind man who will also speak to and treat you as lovingly as your Father desires.
Practice Divorce by Dating
As you read in “I Hate Divorce,” specifically the “Break My Heart” portion, you already know that dating doesn’t prepare you for marriage—it prepares you for divorce! It will also make it extremely hard to remain morally pure. To help my own children, I wrote the allegory The Wedding Clothes for Her and Him, which I told my children when they were young and helped them each remain morally pure. If you are involved with a young man, speak to your Father and ask Him whether you should read this (very simple but life-changing message) as a couple.
It doesn’t mean you don’t have to avoid young men altogether. Yet, as my married children say, the most effective tool is to commit to remaining safe in a group environment of like-minded young people to the finish line and live the rest of your life without the many strongholds that plague almost every marriage. “There is safety in numbers” was a popular saying when I was young, and it will always be true.
When I was younger and found myself in compromising situations, I always had my Best Friend who made a way of escape—so be sure to cry out to Him—either in your heart or shout it out loud. Bullies of every kind are cowards, while we, His children, are “more than conquerors.” (Romans 8:37)
Mothers, it’s important that you encourage your daughters to remain morally pure and, when you can, share your testimony. Encouraging young women should be an important goal of every Christian woman today because they are given not just foolish but destructive advice from everyone else!
"Seeing Red"
3-minute read
As I was growing up, practicing to be a mother through years of babysitting (because I couldn’t imagine not studying and training for what I wanted to be more than anything in the world, a mother), I became close friends with a very special older woman who taught me many things. I had no friends my age since our neighborhood had younger children (most of whom I babysat). So their moms became my closest friends. Even my school friends were of little influence since the school I attended was on the other side of the Hollywood Hills, and though it might seem strange, to call someone on the telephone (for just three minutes) would cost as much as a family going out to dinner! So thankful my Father, once again, set me apart.
This particular friend asked her husband to move where we moved to. They followed our family when we moved after saving their baby girl, who was about to be trapped because of a major earthquake), so we lived within walking distance for many years. Now, here’s what I wanted to share with you. When her son asked her about something he’d discovered in the trashcan, she wisely put his fears to rest when she explained it this way.
A woman is different than a man because she was created with a womb, and that is why she’s called a woman. The womb is a special hidden room where God hides the baby from harm until he or she is big enough to live in the arms of his or her mother and fed by her special milk.
Each month, the body prepares the womb room—hoping for a new baby to arrive. If no baby arrives that month, the red wallpaper is washed away, so it’s brand new for the next baby.
Even at fourteen, hearing this explanation (intended for her little boy) made me feel special, and hopefully, it will help you realize how wonderfully and perfectly made you are. “I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.” Psalm 139:14
Had my mother explained it this way, I may have been more excited to be born a girl. I was extremely young when I “became a woman,” so it was unexpected for my mother and me. She explained what was happening to me and said, “It happens when you grow up. Everyone has it.” I began naming my older sisters and my brothers when she interrupted, “No, not the boys.” Puzzled and already a tomboy— I felt I’d been shortchanged. Oh how wrong could I have been!!
Darling Daughter, if you only knew what I know now and what I’ve discovered along my journey as a woman. I am so thankful to be entering my seventh decade, 70 years old. It didn’t take long to understand the beauty of being a woman—which I only fully discovered while searching God’s Word to help raise my first daughter in my early 30s. The wisdom I wrote in A Wise Woman: A Wise Woman Builds Her House By a FOOL Who First Built on Sinking Sand. By the way, this is a great gift for mothers and grandmothers to read so they can better encourage you and all younger women!
If you aren’t as excited about being a woman, just as I felt when I was your age, I asked God how I could encourage you. My Father reminded me of what I do every morning: I “wash with the Word,” like this promise, “I will give thanks to You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made; Wonderful are Your works, And my soul knows it very well.” “I will give thanks to You, with a grateful heart, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made, Your unique creation; Wonderful are Your works, Your workmanship is marvelous, And my soul knows it very well.” Psalm 139:14
Make it a habit to be “washed with the water of the Word” each morning. Save promises like this one and so many others you can find in this book and other books we offer on HomeGrownMinistries. If you are struggling with something, please leave a comment so we can provide a special spiritual bodywash, a promise when we ask God to know what to offer you. If you want it kept private, add that to the comment so we don’t post it and instead will email you privately.
“You Are Perfectly Beautiful!!”
"If you do not know,
most beautiful of women . . .
How beautiful you are, my darling!
Oh, how beautiful!"
—Song of Solomon 1:8,15
10-minutes total reading time
Read how our Creator used a Safari in Africa to reveal the truth about our body differences. The original version is Chapter 14, You're Beautiful, which some of you might enjoy reading.
🚧 UNDER CONSTRUCTION 🚧
Each weekday, I ask my Husband when I get my Reminder IF He wants us to work on it. We usually reread what was written, revising as we go, until He lets me know it's finished and it's time to post.
LEAVE A COMMENT BELOW 👇 What are YOUR thoughts on what happened when you may have failed to be chaste and/or respectful? Older women, can you assist in encouraging the younger women with your testimony? Younger women, has this chapter made you think differently? Do you have any questions or concerns the older wise women can help you understand better?
LEAVE A COMMENT BELOW 👇
Take the Advanced Course of this chapter
Chapter 7 "Chaste and Respectful"
Both Tara and Vana studied A Wise Woman before they married. Read Tara's True Life Fairytale love story and also "The Heartbroken Heiress."
Although the lesson is not finished yet, what was shared is so powerful. Just looking at what is shared on social media, how wife’s disrespect their husbands or plainly refuse to do some household chores, it is understandable why so many marriages fall apart. Because I fell for the feminist view that woman is equal to men and marriage is 50/50, I saw the destruction in so many ways.
Women who have the desire to be the wife’s we were created to be, who have the desire to be at home to be a homemaker and raise her own children, are frowned upon and ridiculed by feminists.
I am grateful that my Beloved rescued me from the worldly and feminist view the world has regarding being a wife. And now I can teach my daughter to embrace His ways not the world’s ways.
Adina, thank you. Now I can teach my daughter to embrace His ways, not the world’s ways,” because we know as mothers it’s so important. But also because I hadn’t remembered that this chapter was not finished. Interestingly, this week, HLM “He led me” to begin focusing on the WWW, which I’m assuming will result in finishing this book, not just because it’s a vital resource in the lives of our young daughters and granddaughters.
What He’s opened my eyes to recently is how our children’s resources are perfect for introducing the truths and God’s principles for women, all women, but without focusing on marriage directly since men, husbands, and men and relationships (marriage especially) are obsessions, like addictions.
What women, young and old, married or not, need to focus on is their growing relationship with the One who changes EVERYTHING.
At different times in our lives, we need the wisdom and protection of our Father, who supplies ALL our needs. At other times, we long for the intimate love of a spouse, partner, and lover to touch our hearts like LOVE at Last https://loveatlast.org/ as our Husband. Yet, my life-changing event was when I met my Best Friend https://homegrownministries.com/hp/ww4hp/mfl-c2/
All of us cherish friends— especially when we have a BEST friend who is always there when we need them. No one compares to the BEST friend, whom everyone is privileged to have in their lives. Even the best and longest-lasting marriages often attribute their longevity and success to their spouse because they were BEST friends.
I’m excited as the author to work with the Author and Finisher of our faith
“Therefore, since we have so great a cloud of witnesses surrounding us, let us also lay aside every encumbrance, and the sin which so easily entangles us, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, fixing our eyes on Him, the Author and Perfecter of faith, who for the joy set before Him endured the cross, despising the shame, and has sat down at the right hand of the throne of God.” Hebrews 12:1
Wow I love this, this is a must read for every young girl. I wish so much I had read het years ago.
I was a very respectful child in school and my parents. My second last year in school I met this city boy my parents didn’t like so much, so I rebelled against my parents and made so many wrong choices (and I can’t blame him because I made those wrong choices). I didn’t stay a virgin, later ran away with him and I wish now I had kept it for marriage.
So my advice as an older women to younger women is keep it for marriage (be that one in a million girl), you won’t be sorry and if you made the mistake I did, I want to encourage you to allow our Darling Lord to turn your life around. And for the precious children that were molested and violated, I am so sorry for what you went through. I don’t know how it feels, but I saw the hurt it caused in somebody very close to me, but I also saw how she got her healing from her Heavenly Father.
You’re so RIGHT, Janine. So often my married children say how THANKFUL they are to have saved themselves for marriage—not one regrets the decision—yet most if not all (when they learn the truth) do regret and wish they could go back.
The wonderful thing is, a daughter may not listen to her own parents, but she just may listen to an older wise woman, like yourself, who speaks from experience.
I agree and everybody I spoke to that didn’t save themselves, are sorry they didn’t. We all said we wish we could go back.
I remember an older women telling me years ago that we as women have this diamond in our hands and that diamond is meant for marriage and it is each women’s choice if she will look after that diamond. The moment you give that diamond freely away (even if you think it is for love), the diamond will loose it’s value because you offered it while it was only meant for marriage. Today I believe if you give that diamond away before marriage, the man looses respect for you.
And Wow I can only imagine how it must feel to say I waited, and because I can only imagine I will keep on speaking from experience, so that more young women become that one in a million.
Just like Janine, I greatly regretted the decisions I made in my youth, and that led me to deep and prolonged pain for years, a pain with physical consequences from which even my Beloved is restoring me… My testimony is here if it is that you would like to read it: https://elanimador.com/estaba-enganada-por-el-mensaje-que-veia-en-la-television/
It is because of everything that happened in my childhood (with the abuse) and then in my youth since because of the abuse I think I related physical intimacy as love and it was reinforced by the message of the world that I consumed on television as I share in my testimony… the perfect mental environment is created to foolishly fall into enemy schemes.
Dear young woman, you are fortunate to have access to these profound teachings at this age, it is a great opportunity to take and enjoy, just as the lesson says and Janine mentioned, you will never regret being “one in a million” but if not having kept you a virgin, just as we regret having allowed it. And if you have already gone through that path of disobedience, it is not too late my dear, return to your Best Friend with repentance and confess your fault, HE can restore you and heal your heart.
The best thing we can do as women to protect ourselves is to focus on our relationship with our Best Friend, it was because of the obsession with obtaining love from a man that I fell into this big mistake, the fear of being rejected led me to Do what I knew deep down I shouldn’t do, if I had known my Best Friend as my Boyfriend, surely my decisions would have been different. Fear of people is a trap!! Please don’t fall for it dear!
“The fear of man is a dangerous trap, but trust in the LORD brings security” Proverbs 29:25.
https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Proverbs%2029%3A25&version=NLT;KJV;NIV,AMP
https://homegrownministries.com/www/c7-chaste-and-respectful/#Seeing%20Red
I love the explanation the lady gave her son in this part of the chapter. If my son (10) ever asks me while he is this young, I will use this explanation :):). My daughter understands what is happening to her because He led me to prepare her a few months before it actually happened, but she is still struggling to fully embrace it since she is also a tomboy, just like I was, but I will use this lesson to teach her how special she is as a woman. And for my son to understand that women are special.
As women we are special, we were created special and the ability to conceive and carry a baby is an amazing privilege and blessing. I only fully understood what it means to be a woman when I carried a little precious life inside of me, felt the little butterfly kicks and then held my baby in my arms for the first time.