Chapter 1 On the Rock

Is your life built upon the rock? Are you sure? Why does it matter? Because God’s Word says that the rains are going to come in your life and mine. These “rains” may be in the form of a financial crisis, the death of someone you dearly love, the unfaithfulness or betrayal of a friend, your parents' divorce, health problems, or any number of crises that plague young women today.

So, the question is: Will you be able to endure a real crisis? Because that is not what happens in the lives of most Christians—instead, most follow this pattern that the Lord spoke about when He said, “Everyone who hears these words of Mine and does not act on them, will be like a foolish man who built his house on the sand. The rain fell, and the floods came, and the winds blew and slammed against that house; and it fell—and great was its fall” (Matt. 7:26–27).

Thankfully, the Lord also said what we read as our chapter verse, “Therefore, everyone who hears these Words of Mine and acts upon them, may be compared to the wise, who built their house upon the Rock. And the rain descended, the floods came, and the winds blew, and burst against that house; and yet it did not fall, for it had been founded upon the Rock.” (Matthew 7:24-25).

Therefore, for us to withstand the rains that God says will come into all of our lives, we must, each and every one of us, build or rebuild our lives firmly on the Rock—on His Word and through a deep relationship with Him.

Have you ever noticed how it is the women, like your mom or aunt or grandmother, not the men of the family, who love to go to Bible studies and just about every conference they hear about? As women, we seem to throw ourselves into learning more and more, yet our lives and our relationships are chaotic, crumbling, and full of drama. Interesting. But that is what the Bible tells us. It says, “For among them are those who enter into households and captivate weak women weighed down with sins, led on by various impulses, always learning and never able to come to the knowledge of the truth” (2 Tim. 3:6–8).

It's not the women or the men who are to blame. Both need to understand their role—especially at "such a time as this" when the world and society are trying to blend our roles, and even genders are being dismantled.

From the very beginning, we see women wanting knowledge above all else. “When the woman saw that the tree was good for food, and that it was a delight to the eyes, and that the tree was desirable to make one wise, she took from its fruit and ate…” (Genesis 3:6).

At the same time, most of the men in our lives (fathers, brothers, and boyfriends) are so preoccupied with hobbies, sports, their jobs, and/or school that they spend little or no time studying God’s Word for themselves—nor do many of them desire a true relationship with the Lord.

“The LORD God commanded the man, saying, ‘From any tree of the garden you may eat freely; but from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil you shall not eat, for in the day that you eat from it you will surely die’” (Gen. 2:16).

The fall of man opened the eyes of both man and woman, giving them the knowledge of good and evil. Unfortunately, what is being studied today and what women crave is knowledge of any kind. They pursue education in any form without discretion, to their ruin. Not only do they educate themselves in everything in the world that can be imagined. It begins in elementary school all the way through college and beyond, but even within the church, the woman is getting false doctrine and building her life upon it.

I know. I was one such woman, and that's how my well-planned life became the subtitle of my Wise series "by a FOOL Who Built on Sinking Sand."

Not only are schools filled with the ways of the world, the knowledge of all kinds of evil, and very little of the “good” we need to use to build our lives, but the ways of the world have also penetrated the church and what the church is teaching. That's why, though we try, what we have learned will only guarantee the sinking of our hopes and plans for our future. Why is that? Well, let me ask you honestly…

Do you really know what God’s Word says to us as a woman, a daughter, and for your future as a wife, or possibly (or hopefully) as a mother? Because I didn’t. I'd never even read the Bible, being raised Catholic.

Have you ever taken the time to read God’s blueprint for life? Do you know how God sees things (which, believe it or not, are found everywhere in the Bible), and have you modeled your life after them? I didn’t.

Do you really know what God says about every area of your life so you, too, can share His opinion and build your life on these principles rather than on popular opinion? Once again, I didn’t. But after my life collapsed, I knew I needed to find out so I could rebuild my life on them.

Well, where can you find sound and solid teaching to help you learn the truth?

Christian women enjoy the messages from their pastors, Christian radio, Christian television, and Christian music—things that fire us up for the Lord. But will you embrace a message that is sure to bring about conviction? This book is going to shake you up.

So, the question is: Will you choose to run from or grab hold of the truth, the "Word of God," when you begin reading things that God has prompted me to write to you? Things I'm sure will bring about conviction instead of those lovely goosebumps you are used to?

Too many pastors and Christian speakers today feel they need to draw in large audiences, so they tell their listeners what they want to hear rather than what they really need to hear. Can you blame them? By pulling in the largest crowds, they gain enormous donations for their churches and ministries, right? The question is: Are they the ones to blame because they are destroying all of us? Or does the responsibility belong to us? This is not my opinion, but God’s warning to us. Read this… “For the time will come when they [Christians] will not endure sound doctrine; but wanting to have their ears tickled, they will accumulate for themselves teachers in accordance to their own desires, and will turn away their ears from the truth, and will turn aside to myths” (2 Timothy 4:3-4).

Ravenous wolves. Our Savior warned us of the spiritual leaders who would try to deceive us. “Beware of the false prophets, who come to you in sheep’s clothing, but inwardly are ravenous wolves. You will know them by their fruits . . .” (Matthew 7:15-16). We can see the financial “fruits” of many ministers, pastors, and ministries that are getting rich, yet most of their followers are perishing for lack of knowledge. “My people are destroyed for lack of knowledge. Because you have rejected knowledge . . .” (Hosea 4:6).

When you listen to the most popular Christian speakers and pastors, are you absolutely sure their information is based solely on Scripture, OR is it based on psychology and the ideas of man? Are you confident that you know the difference? “‘The prophet who has a dream may relate his dream, but let him who has My Word speak My Word in truth. What does straw have in common with grain?’ declares the LORD” (Jer. 23:28). Can you discern grain from straw? Are you knowledgeable enough not to be taken in by those who God told us would come and deceive the Christians—the ravenous wolves?

My ways, My thoughts. If you don't give up and you bravely continue reading in the following chapters, many things will probably seem foreign to you. Most of what I am about to share are truths that are rarely if ever, preached from the pulpit, discussed on Christian radio, or written about in Christian books. That's because God says, “For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are My ways higher than your ways, and My thoughts than your thoughts” (Isaiah 55:9). Would you believe that what I am about to teach you is found easily in the Bible, but is often overlooked, watered down, or taken out of context to justify an opposing view or even to justify sin? Yet, look what He says, “Every Word of God is tested; He is a shield to those who take refuge in Him. Do not add to His Words, lest He reprove you, and you be proved a liar” (Proverbs 30:5-6).

A broken and a contrite heart. May I ask if your heart is broken and contrite [showing sincere remorse]? Because I have found that only a broken heart can absorb the truth. “The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit; a broken and a contrite heart, O God, Thou wilt not despise” (Ps. 51:17). “Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven” (Matthew 5:3).

A broken heart is the fertile ground the Lord says will produce much fruit. “Hear then the parable of the sower. When anyone hears the Word of the kingdom and does not understand it, the evil one comes and snatches away what has been sown in his heart. This is the one on whom seed was sown beside the road. And the one on whom seed was sown on the rocky places, this is the man who hears the Word and immediately receives it with joy. Yet, he has no firm root in himself but is only temporary, and when affliction or persecution arises because of the Word, he immediately falls away. And the one on whom seed was sown among the thorns, this is the man who hears the Word, the worry of the world, and the deceitfulness of riches choke the Word, and it becomes unfruitful. And the one on whom seed was sown on the good soil, this is the man who hears the Word and understands it; who indeed bears fruit, and brings forth, some a hundredfold, some sixty, and some thirty” (Matthew 13:18-23).

Did not hear it. “But blessed are your eyes because they see, and your ears because they hear. For truly I say to you, that many prophets and righteous men desired to see what you see, and did not see it; and to hear what you hear, and did not hear it” (Matthew 13:16-17). God says you will need an “ear to hear,” which means listening with the desire to gain the complete wisdom that the Bible has to offer.

Meditate day and night. The only way to build on the Rock is to renew your mind with God’s Word: you will need to renew your mind to line it up with what God says about everything. Sadly, most of us tend to rely on what is “popular” according to the world’s standards, which I said is basically the same thing the church now teaches. We follow the so-called “experts” in a particular field or trust that our teachers are giving us the full truth when we have no idea if it is truth or a myth. Why? Because “My people are destroyed for lack of knowledge. Because you have rejected knowledge . . .” (Hoseah 4:6).

Let’s never forget that God is our Creator. Therefore, He knows, above anyone else, how to handle every circumstance or relationship He has created. That's why I hid this promise in my heart, “But his delight is in the law of the LORD, and in His law he meditates day and night. And he will be like a tree firmly planted by streams of water, which yields its fruit in its season, and its leaf does not wither; and in whatever he does, he prospers” (Psalm 1:2-3). Isn't that the most incredible promise anyone ever made to you? And it was made by the Person who cannot lie because He is truth.

Thy Word is Truth. And just as we read above when God spoke about the sower, even after you take time to read and study the truth, the enemy plans to come to steal what you have just learned! It's a favorite scheme of the enemy who will tempt you, the reader, to reject what you read in this book by getting you to think or say that you disagree with the author.

Well, first of all, it doesn’t matter what this author is writing or saying: Am I right? All that matters is what God says—since He is the Author and Creator of life! That’s why you must read each and every Scripture so you know what GOD is saying.

*“Put on the full armor of God, so that you will be able to stand firm against the schemes of the devil” (Ephesians 6:11). And one of the key parts to the armor is the "sword of the Spirit," which is the Word of God!

Secondly, we must remember that the enemy will try to discourage you, and division is another of his favorite schemes. If you don’t believe what you read, you have three choices: 1) You can talk to someone who you know will agree with you and your opinion; 2) You can just take the parts you want and pass over the rest as you would choose food from a menu; or 3) You can search for the Truth. "Seek, and you shall find" (Matthew 7:7).

God says, “I know your deeds, that you are neither cold nor hot; I wish that you were cold or hot. So because you are lukewarm, and neither hot nor cold, I will spit you out of My mouth” (Revelation 3:15-16).

Please decide today to search for Truth. “Sanctify them in the Truth; Thy Word is Truth” (John 17:17).

The Truth is nothing to fear; instead, it will "set you free." “If you abide in My Word, then you are truly disciples of Mine; and you shall know the Truth, and the Truth shall make you free” (John 8:31-32). Again, if you question anything you read, please do NOT take my word for it—seek God and His Word to find the Truth. “But if any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask of God, who gives to all generously and without reproach, and it will be given to him” (James 1:5).

*Over the many years that I have been ministering, there have been many times that I have been challenged by what I have written. When this occurs, I assume they are right, and I am wrong. Then, it forces me to seek the truth I claim. And each time I walked away much stronger in my faith and better able to share the truth with others. I hope you will do the same. And please don’t seek the truth in another book (even one of my books). Instead, go right to THE BOOK, the Bible, and search for its truth. Remember, "Thy Word is truth" (John 17:17).

The website I use almost every day is Biblegateway.com, where I can search for and read different versions of a particular topic. Take time to go deeper into the things of God! Look up words in the dictionary; return to the original translation, Hebrew for the Old Testament and Greek for the New Testament. There are many sites to help, like BlueLetterBible.org, where you can use the concordance to dig deeper into the true meaning.

Seek, and you shall find. “But seek first His kingdom, and all these things shall be added to you” (Luke 12:31). “And I say to you, ask, and it shall be given to you; seek, and you shall find; knock, and it shall be opened to you” (Luke 11:9). Use a Bible concordance (on the website above) and allow the Lord to guide you into all truth. If there is a promise or principle that you want to understand more fully, search through other versions of the Bible, save it on your phone, and then read it every day. Then, one day, you'll feel like a light has been turned on in a dark room—you will know the Truth! “But his delight is in the law of the LORD, and in His law he meditates day and night” (Psalm 1:2).

Is seeking the truth worth the effort? Do you have time? God says, “So teach us to number our days, that we may present to Thee a heart of wisdom” (Psalm 90:12). Just think of all the many hours and years you spend learning things that you'll never use. Trust me, what I've learned from seeking the truth, using a concordance to look up a single word in Greek or Hebrew, along with reading it in many different versions of the Bible—are things I rely on that have helped me navigate through close to seven decades of my life.

Avoiding pitfalls and cliffs, I watched so many fall into—while I was experiencing finding myself on top of mountaintops (even literally) while countless people watched, amazed!  Your Friend, your Father, He's calling you right now to live this life. It's why you're reading this right now. And if you're not sure if He is calling you to a similar or probably a more spectacular life by knowing and loving His Word as I do, ask Him. Just ask Him and then write it down, along with the date, because the enemy will try to steal it from you.

I promise that if you finish reading this chapter now, reread it tomorrow, save your favorite verses that touched your heart on your phone (so these are always with you), and read the promises over again the next day—you will begin to crave the Lord and His Word. “As a deer pants for streams of water, so my soul pants toward You, O God” (Psalm 42:1). Isn’t this how you want to feel?

God's Word

The Bible verses will always be the most important Words throughout this entire book because they are God’s Word! That means, never, ever skip over them because:

God's Word Heals. “He sent His Word and healed them, and delivered them from all their destructions” (Psalm 107:20).

God's Word is Light that will guide you through the dark patches. “Your Word is a Light to guide my feet and a lamp for my path” (Psalm 119:105).

God's Word is Truth. “The sum of your Word is Truth, and every one of your righteous rules endures forever” (Psalm 119:160).

Just do it! Once you begin to understand and accept God’s truths, then it's important you become a doer of the Word. “Anyone who listens to the word but does not do what it says is like someone who looks at his face in a mirror and, after looking at himself, goes away and immediately forgets what he looks like” (James 1:23-24). You and I must put action behind what we learn, or what's the point?

Zealous for what is good? While reading this book, I want you to remember that a zealot, a fanatic, wrote this book! I got this way when I found myself backed into a corner in my life. I got this way when I was sinking and looking for something or Someone to save me. “But seeing the wind, he became afraid, and beginning to sink, he cried out, saying, ‘Lord, save me!’” (Matthew 14:30). I got this way when I saw an empty void in my life that made my heart and my gut ache because I desperately needed that void filled.

Is this where you are in your life? Then praise God! You, too, will become a zealot. Begin to embrace and obey His Word zealously—enthusiastically, unapologetically! 

Zealous teachings need zealous obedience. I cannot tell you how much I recite this truth in my head, “And who is there to harm you if you prove zealous for what is good?” (1 Peter 3:13). Also powerful is to remember when things are difficult, “I correct and discipline everyone I love. So be zealously diligent and turn from your indifference” (Revelation 3:19). Many times I have been mocked and ridiculed for my zealous behavior as I chose to follow the Lord and God's Word to the extent that I have. But isn't that what God called each of us to do? Isn't that the way our Savior walked on earth? As a zealot? How can anyone get more zealous than what our Saviors said that's recorded here? “And if your hand or your foot causes you to stumble, cut it off and throw it from you; it is better for you to enter life crippled or lame, than having two hands or two feet, to be cast into the eternal fire. And if your eye causes you to stumble, pluck it out, and throw it from you. It is better for you to enter life with one eye than having two eyes, to be cast into the fiery hell” (Matthew 18:8). I’d say these are very zealous teachings from the Lord because He is trying to prove His point.

Come, follow Me. “And Jesus, looking at him, loved him, and said to him, “You lack one thing: go, sell all that you have and give to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven; and come, follow Me. At this, the man’s face fell, and he went away sad, for he had many possessions and great wealth" (Mark 10:21-23). Don't become the rich man unwilling to follow the narrow path because you fear what He might ask you to do or give up. Whatever you let go of, He will bless you a thousandfold. I know, I've lived it!

"May the LORD, the God of your fathers, bless you a thousand-fold more than you are and bless you, just as He has promised you!" (Deuteronomy 1:11). “Therefore the LORD longs to be gracious to you, and therefore He waits on high to have compassion on you For the LORD is a God of justice; How blessed are all those who long for Him” (Isaiah 30:18).

Lay aside every encumbrance. “Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a huge crowd of witnesses to the life of faith, let us strip off every weight that slows us down, everything that hinders our progress, especially the sin that so easily trips us up and captures us. And let us run with endurance the race God has set before us." (Hebrews 12:1). When you learn a truth, immediately ask God to change you so you can begin following the truth, not returning to your old ways. "The thing spoken of in the true proverb has happened to them, “THE DOG RETURNS TO HIS OWN VOMIT,” and, “A pig, after washing herself, returns to wash [again] in the mud” (2 Peter 2:22). Make every moment, every day, count.

Built on the Sand. Let’s be honest; most Christians have built our lives on the sinking sand—thinking and living the way the world does, and we hold the world’s values. We seek after everything the Lord and our Savior preached against! You can pretend it won't happen, but it’s only a matter of time before our comfy life will fall apart. We’ve seen other Christians fall. What makes us think we will remain standing when trouble and hardships come crashing down on us? I love the way the Message Bible says it: “…we are just as capable of messing it up as they were. Don’t be so naive and self-confident. You’re not exempt. You could fall flat on your face as easily as anyone else…” (1 Corinthians 10:12).

The women who discover and read my first A Wise Woman book are usually women whose lives have already fallen apart, and usually, “great was its fall.” These women (and men who read A Wise Man) actually have a huge advantage—they have nowhere to live. They are forced to pick up the pieces of rubble of their lives and begin rebuilding. They have no choice to make—God made it for them.

“And everyone who hears these Words of Mine, and does not act upon them, will be like a foolish man, who built his house upon the sand. And the rain descended, and the floods came, and the winds blew, and burst against that house, and it fell, and great was its fall” (Matthew 7:26-27).

However, as a young person, you have the most powerful advantage because you are just building your life! Begin every day by selecting the best materials; everything said in God's Word, which we know is tested to last for all eternity! Use His Word alone as your blueprint. Let this book motivate you and help shine a light when you encounter new circumstances and situations so you can find the narrow gate and follow the narrow road few find. “Enter by the narrow gate. The gate is wide, and the way is easy, which leads to destruction, and many enter by it. For the gate is small and the way is narrow that leads to life, and few find it" (Matthew 7:13-14).

Removed lover and friend. God often needs to remove a friend or someone we love to place Himself first in our lives. It could even be a parent you've always relied on who you felt you could talk to and trust. The person might be physically there but not emotionally. Even though it seems cruel, God removes many people from our lives because He wants you to have the Best Person by your side to talk to, to listen to, to rely on, and as a traveling companion who'll be with you every day, every waking moment and is next to you when you sleep. Here's where He says this. “You have taken away my companions and loved ones. Darkness is my closest friend” (Psalm 88:18).

“You have put me in the depths of the pit, in the regions dark and deep. Your rage [against me or against the person who is hurting me] lies heavily on me. I am crushed beneath its waves. [Selah: pause and think about what God just said.] You have taken from me my closest friends and have made me repulsive to them. I feel like I'm in prison and cannot escape” (Psalm 88:6-8).

*Selah is often found in the book of Psalms to ask us, the reader, to stop, ponder, and think over what we just read. Reread what you read and then really think about it. Don’t rush so that you miss the more profound, more genuine, richer, and more accurate meaning.

Practical Application

Boast about my weaknesses. Pride, which you'll discover later in this book, has always been one of the seven deadly sins, yet to boast about your weaknesses will rid you and set you in a position of humility.  Some of us find it easier to share what the Lord has done in our lives and how He's changed us, while many fail to share their “shortcomings” with anyone. Without a doubt, God will bring people, young and old, into your life that will open a door for you to share what the Lord has done for you. “. . . but set the Lord as first in your hearts, always being ready to make a defense to everyone who asks you to give an account for the hope that is in you, yet with gentleness and reverence ..” (1 Peter 3:15).

Make time to have conversations with your closest Friend (or who is becoming this Person in your life) about how to answer questions that often come up. My daughter, Tara, did this when asked about not attending college and also never dating but waiting for the man God chose for her to marry. God's answer turned into an audience of one or a small group of young people living all over the world, who held her in such high esteem even though the entire premise was alien to their own beliefs and completely strange.

“Each time, He said, “My grace is all you need. My power works best in weakness. So now I am glad to boast about my weaknesses—so that the power of the living God can work through me" (2 Corinthians 12:9).

You don’t have to broadcast your sins to the world, but just to the few who need to know they are not alone and who will be encouraged by what God has done in your life. Share it discreetly, but honestly… you will be so glad you did.

Once again, Your Friend, your Father, is calling you to live a life avoiding pitfalls and living your life atop mountains as He chose for me. Why else would you be reading this book, this chapter, right now? Again, be sure He is calling you to a similar or probably a more spectacular life (by knowing and loving His Word as I do). Stop and ask Him. Ask God. Then, write it down so the enemy cannot steal its excitement from you or what you must do. Build on Rock, not sinking sand. Know God's Word so you can grab the "sword of the Spirit, which is the Word of God," whenever, whoever, and whatever comes to attack you.

Let His Power Overtake in Me!

Personal commitment to trust God's blueprints so I build (or rebuild) my life on the Rock. “Based on what I have just learned from God’s Word, I surrender my life to Him and will trust His changes me as I learn what God says about everything, boasting about my weaknesses as I share my testimony, my story, with others.”