RJN “My Custody Loss” Chapter 7

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One Sunday during November when Kevin brought the children back, he came in as usual and asked for coffee and went to sit on the coach. By this time the hate wall was down again and he always came in when he came to pick up the kids and brought them back, and most of the time he stayed for coffee. This time I could see he wanted to talk but it was not like the first Sunday when he came in to tell me about his custody plans. He looked kind of sad, but also serious. After I gave him his coffee, he said we need to sort out the final arrangements for the next year.

Although I prayed that this moment wouldn’t come, I had peace in my heart and was able to respond enthusiastically and I went to sit down on the other coach. He told me that he will send me the application forms for the new school and that I must please sign it as well and I agreed. Then he told me that he booked a two-week holiday for all of them during December, over Christmas and New Year, but that I can have them for the rest of the time until a few days before the school starts in January.

Not having my children with me over Christmas is very difficult and inside my heart broke, but with my Heavenly Husband holding my hand, I was again able to agree enthusiastically. Everything he told me, I just agreed enthusiastically, and Kevin left.

I went through the rest of November, helping my daughter to study for exams, attended my son’s price giving at school and invited Kevin to attend, which he did. Early December the school year ended and it was school holiday. Kevin send me the application letters which I immediately signed and send back to him, I offered to buy all their school supplies for the next year and to cover all their books, which he agreed to after he send me all the lists.

Before my children went on holiday with Kevin and the OW, I spend a lot of time with my children, taking them to some fun places and just being with them. I kept on assuring them that I love them and that I will always be there for them and that my door will always be open if they one day decide to rather move back. Kevin came to pick them up for their holiday and I was in total peace. During the two weeks they were on holiday I held on to my Husband and He helped me to just enjoy Christmas and New Year with my family. I had a wonderful time during these two weeks, just being in His company and spending time with Him and giving everything to Him, and He gave me the following verse before the start of the new year:

“See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the wilderness and streams in the wasteland.” Isaiah 43:19

This verse really gave me so much peace, knowing that whatever this new season brings, He is busy working, no matter what the situation looks like through our human eyes.

Kevin also kept on mentioning that I must move to their town so we can follow a one-week, one-week schedule, but I kept assuring him that I am waiting for my Heavenly Husband to make it possible for me to move, and that I will be waiting on His timing and will. Kevin understood and left it there.
After Kevin brought them back after their holiday, I just had bit more than a week with my children before they left. I must admit this was a difficult week for me while I got their things ready for the new school year. I had peace regarding the situation, but I was still sad.

So the day finally arrived that Kevin came to pick them up, and I asked my Heavenly Husband to prepare me for this day, to not cry in front of my children and to just be enthusiastic until they left. And He helped me, He got me through this moment greeting them enthusiastically and telling them that I will see them very soon, the first weekend after the school started.

After they left I just cried at my Heavenly Husband’s feet, knowing that He had a plan in all of this, trusting Him with this new journey and knowing that He is with me always holding my hand. The first week was difficult, knowing the OW took them to school, packed their lunches and picked them up from school. It was also the first year I did not attend their first day at school, but Kevin did send me pictures. It was a big change for me to not have them with me during the week, I had peace with them visiting their dad and OW over weekends, but now I had to get used to it being the other way around, to become the weekend mom. But holding on to Him changed everything and it only took about two weeks to adjust to the new custody arrangements.

Only living a half hours drive from my children, allowed me to go and pick them up from school on a Friday, 3 weekends per month, and then have them stay with me until the Monday morning when I dropped them off at school again.

In my final chapter I will share more of the things I went through and learned throughout the first year that my children stayed with Kevin and the OW. I learned some very important lessons during the first year, but I got through the first year with peace and joy and my Heavenly Husband by my side!

HomeGrown

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11 thoughts on “RJN “My Custody Loss” Chapter 7”

  1. Adina, let me just admit, that I cried a little when I read this chapter. How your Husband gave you the peace you needed. Thank you for sharing your testimony with the world. This is going to help so many women. I read this today while my children are away with their dad for a ‘long-weekend’. I used to dread this, but now I just enjoy my time alone with my Husband.

    1. If it wasn’t for my meeting my HH before the custody trail started, I think I would have made a huge mess and maybe in the end lost my children completely. But it is amazing when I look back how He planned this, being gracious enough to first put me on a journey to meet Him and grow more spiritually before the custody case started. And I really had to look at the situation through His eyes and not through human eyes, because then I would have fallen apart completely. Understanding that He is working and its part of something bigger and better that He has planned, also brings so much peace.

    2. I did too, I now it’s not easy to see our children been raised by others when we are in the picture, even if its only one day, but Adina I am happy that He gave you peace in your heart then and now to continue on this journey where like your promise said He is doing something new, we all just have to wait for His timing

  2. Thank you Adina, when I read each chapter, I feel how my heart breaks, I saw myself asking my Beloved how you could bear everything with peace and contentment and He spoke to my heart telling me that it was only possible because you were filled with Him. He reminded me that each test in my life I have also endured it because I allowed Him to overflow my heart. I believe that no process is like another, but we have a Husband who can support us and be enough in any situation.

  3. My dear each chapter gets better and better!! even though the situationis really hard, the way you handledit like the bride you are!!
    This is teh real stuff, this is why we study the principles to apply, the obedience beyond our hurt!!
    Now you are the fun mom, and your precious children are able to see the true character of their mom!! That is something they will cherish forever and ever!!
    That is winning without a word, indeed!
    https://hopeatlast.com/c1/day-10-chapter-5-won-without-a-word/
    Thank you so much for opening your hearts to us!!

    1. Yes trails like these really test your faith and everything you’ve learned! But that is why it is SOOOO important to hold on to Him during the worst trails! And PTL He showed me what I was about to gain, and to stop looking at what I was about to lose!

  4. Adina I just know there will be so many women who will be blessed by this novel. I still can’t imagine what it must feel like but I’m so glad you met your HH and that He kept you in perfect peace throughout it all!! I’m sure your love and relationship with your HH grew so enormously through this!

    1. Yes, definitely Atarah, through trails like this and holding on to Him so tightly, REALLY brings you so much closer to HH and make you want to crawl and hide under His wing!

  5. Amazing testimony Adina, my eyes are full of tears. I cant even imagine a situation like yours but your HH filled you with His Love and strenght.

    Im sure your obedience to Him will bring blessings to you and your family because His plans are always the best for us.

    Thank you for sharing ❤

  6. Adina thank you for sharing your journey. And I admit that I read it crying, because exactly today the ex-husband took my daughter to be with him that day, and several thoughts came to my mind. I confess that I cannot imagine going through what you went through, but I am sure of one thing, you are already victorious my dear, and He will honor your obedience and faith in Him.🌻

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