RJN “My Custody Loss” Chapter 6


After the last appointment, and the discussion me and Kevin had, the children would still stay with me for 5 months to finish the school year. Deep down I knew it was final, but I kept hoping and praying that my Heavenly Husband would step in and change Kevin’s mind to not continue with this.

This was a very difficult time for me, although I had peace during the whole process and knew I had to let go and lay down my will, reality hit me knowing that 5 months pass by so quickly and then I would have to let my children go. There were many sleepless nights during the first month or two, nights I just cried at His feet and told Him I cannot do this, I cannot let my children go and stay with the OW and give her most of my responsibilities as their mother. When I packed their lunches for school, my heart would break because I knew this task would no longer be mine, I would not be able to do their homework with them or take them to school anymore. The simple things we as mother’s do for our children would be taken away.

But I just cried at His feet, nobody knew what I went through during those first months, it was a journey I had to go on with only Him, because I knew I needed Him to help me to do this. I knew in my own strength I was not able to do this. I knew I had to grab on to Him for dear life otherwise I would fall apart. It was difficult, but it was necessary to go through this time with Him.

During this time, I continued to translate the Facing Divorce, Again, book in Afrikaans. I gained so much wisdom and understanding while I translated the book and it helped me through this difficult time.

Slowly but surely He pulled me out of my despair and then one day I was just filled with His peace that surpasses all understanding. He gave me the story of Abraham that had to sacrifice Isaac and how he was rewarded for his obedience regardless of how difficult it must have been. He gave me this story on several occasions and I knew I was called to a higher obedience in this situation. This finally gave me the ability to let go completely, surrender and be joyful regardless of what was to come.

I stopped crying over what I was about to lose, and He started to show me what I was about to gain; I would have more time to spend with my Husband, more time for ministering and ministry work. A time to completely heal and a time to start living again. A time to be the fun mom my children wanted me to be when they compared me to the OW, and to use the time I would have with them to do things other than schoolwork, study and getting them to school and back. Time to just be with them. Yes, there would be some homework and exams to study for over weekends, but it was not the only thing I would be able to do with them anymore.

When Kevin moved away I allowed him to take the children 3 weekends per month and I only had them during school weeks and one weekend per month. So that didn’t leave me with a lot of time to do anything else than schoolwork, driving them up and down and getting them ready for school.

My Husband really started to turn my heart, He did not turn the situation around, but how I felt about it. He turned my attitude regarding this difficult situation around. He gave me total and utter peace and even joy. He gave me the strength to face the situation. And because of this the tension between me and Kevin also disappeared and we were able to have a peaceful co-parenting relationship, until today we are able to communicate peacefully about the children when we have to.

During these 5 months the subject of the children going to stay with Kevin was never brought up again, and deep down I kept on hoping it would go away. But it didn’t. Late November Kevin brought it up again….



6 thoughts on “RJN “My Custody Loss” Chapter 6”

  1. Dear Adina, thank you for sharing this next chapter. I have often thought of you during this time, wondering what you are going through. There were times when I could see it must be difficult for you, but I never heard you complain or say a negative word. What a Wise Woman you were through all of this.

  2. My dear!!!! Wow!! This is so encouraging!! Seeing the good and be able to be grateful on this situation is just amazing!!!
    Now you get to be the fun mom and your children are meeting another face of who you are!!
    You are such a inspiration, obeying is better than sacrifice!!

  3. Dear Adina, the only thing I think is that surely something great and beautiful is prepared for you and for your soul, I want to thank you because you are a woman who inspires us to keep our eyes on HIM despite how hard it could have been for you, I thank you for you, because you minister our lives through your obedience❤️.

    1. Thank you Perla, keeping our eyes on Him is the only way we can get through any trail, or just through every day, we must hold on to Him during good and bad times.

  4. Adina I’m so glad I came to read, I don’t think that any of us could understand what you truly went thru and how you felt but I’m just sooo glad that you shared. He gave you peace beyond understanding and the strength you needed when you needed it most. I pray that your novel reaches far and wide reaching women.

  5. Wow Adina, I totally agree with Atarah, none of us can imagine what you had to go through. But we agree that your obedience brings much encouragement into our lives. I praise the Lord for your life and your journey, which I am sure will impact many other brides.

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